The Rift League was laughing, while a certain son of a gun was throwing another rubbish bin out of a window.
~~~~~~~~~~
Present tightened her cloak, and drove a few laps around the now empty Nurburgring to get to grips with her car. She was in a brown Land Rover Discovery, with brown floor, and brown interior. For a car that had the full James May makeover, it sure was fast. Even for a Land Rover.
"How'd I do?" Present asked Luke as she stopped the car at the finish line.
Luke shrugged, then looked up at Present, "Well, you only drove off the track 4 times. A big improvement from last time's 7."
Present opened the door of the car and jumped out. She joined Luke on a bench at the side of the track. She held Luke's hand and smiled.
"I like this place." Present said, "I like how you can race anywhere, at any time."
Luke turned his head to face Present, "What if I told you... You can frik-ing race anywhere?! I mean, you get Jack on a road, and drive. Easier than inserting an NES cartridge! Wait... That's hard... Blinking red led... bent contacts... Well Frik."
Another announcement was heard over a loudspeaker, "All racers for the off road event assemble at the forest in the east!"
Luke looked east, "That's The Frik Frik." He lifted Present's hand, "Shell weh?"
Present nodded and smiled. The two walked to the Land Rover and drove off towards the forest in the east.
~~~~~~~~~~
Other Luke was sitting in his desk talking to a race official.
"So I can't just f*** them up and b***h slap them into disqualification?"
The official replied, "No sir, it is in the laws created a thousand years ago by the first Brovis."
Other Luke nodded, "Mmm. How about just kick them out? Y'now, b***h slapping?"
"Again, no sir."
"Very well, I'll deal with them after the races."
The official left, leaving other Luke at his desk with the sedan shaped trophy on a nearby shelf. He sat at his desk in awe of the golden chrome bodywork And it's strange ability to suck light away and give it a dark glow. He still didn't know however, and left to the live filming room to view the next race.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright Present," Luke said, "the rulez are simple. Drive through the forest, don't kill foxes and make it out first plz!"
"I don't wanna make any promises I know I can keep." Present replied, and lined up at the starting line.
"Here goes sumthin'." Jack said to Luke.
"Isn't it 'here goes nothin'?" Luke then asked.
Jack turned to Luke,"Let's hope it's sumthin' and not nothin'."
Luke smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~
Present wasn't ready. She had no idea what was up ahead. But there was no turning back when all the lights turned green. Unlike Jack's run, she was somewhere in the middle of the pack, but sped ahead to 2nd place. She knew that one guy in front of her, who's licence plate was 'RCHRD HM0ND', was all she needed to get past to win. Suddenly, she felt the road get bumpy as she slid into a ditch.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Luke," Jack asked as Luke slid under his Bricklin SV-1, "What the h**l are you doin?"
"I'm giving my car more *umph* than it did before. First of all, I can travel around faster, second, I can R.I.F.T. faster, and third, whatever the third event is, I've got it in the bag with this mod. BTW, R.I.F.T. stands for Run Into Frik-ing Trouble. I mean, that's what we do right?"
"Yeh".
~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing really happened with the off roading segment of the Tri-Race. Particularly because it was just weaving around trees, ditches, and over turned cars from previous races. We rejoin our Mewthree in the final stretch, with that one guy who was faster that her still sticking up his favorite finger at her. Present observed that the man was short, had mangy hair, and a ring of hair around his upper lip and chin. Present saw a tree in front of him. She thought he would hit the tree.
The tree passed by... But he was still there, and he passed that finish line far in front of Present. However, the man in front spun out of control and rolled the car over 7 times just past the finish line. The car then caught fire, and the man inside was taken by paramedics to a medical centre by truck.
Which left Present as the winner.
When Luke ran up to her and hugged her, Present had no idea what just happened.
"Present... YOU FRIGGIN WON!" Luke exclaimed.
"What? No? I lost to that guy." Present pointed to the medical truck.
Jack corrected her, "Don't you see? He's out of commission! You're technically first!"
Present broke out a big smile and hugged Luke and Jack. All the while a yobbish dirtbag was throwing yet another rubbish bin through a window.
