"Wat da friggle mcnipple shish is oh-fivehundred?"
"In your simple terms," the iguana said, "it's five o'clock."
"That's sweaty." Luke said.
~~~~~~~~~~
In the sleep deck of the starship, a two bed bedroom held Luke and Present. In the middle of the night, Present cuddled up with Luke in his bed, abandoning her own.
5:00 AM
"WAKE UP MOTHERF***ERS!" Connor bust into the room.
"Frik u all. I'm literally covered in sweat." Luke tore the covers off, then immediately put them back on. "I think Present has been watching porn. Present, where the Frik are my undies?"
"Whatever, get your tighties and get dressed, it's 5 AM."
Luke got dressed, then placed the covers over Present.
"You better not have stolen my virginity."
~~~~~~~~~~
The shuttle Bay doors opened. The fleshie starship was held in the nothingness a few miles ahead.
"Let's do iiiiit!" Jack said in a demoman voice.
Multiple shuttles and two Rift Mechanisms tumbled out into space on a direct course to the fleshie starship. The Bricklin SV-1 driver door opened, and Luke fired his hand Vaporizer Phaser at the Fleshie Shuttle bay door. The door vaporized, leaving a clean hole for the recon team to enter.
The team landed.
~~~~~~~~~
Twelve Furries, Luke, and Jack jumped out of their vehicles. The ship's forcefield created artificial gravity in the hangar without the large door.
"Alrighty frikies," obviously Luke said, "I know where the bridge is!"
"You do?" A cat asked.
"No."
~~~~~~~~~
After multiple attempt to find the bridge of a sleeping (it's 5 AM) starship, the bridge was finally found.
"STAND BACK YOU FRIGGLES!" Jack exclaimed as he shoved his WII Saber into the door's control panel, opening it instantly.
The captains chair had someone in it, apparently awake at 5 AM. Next to the chair was a 21st century backpack, but the colors were... A bit off...
"Well well well. Look what the motherf***ing cat dragged on to this s***hole."
"Other me." Luke said, "What's in the friggin bag?"
The chair spun around, revealing it to be Other Luke. He snapped his fingers, and another chair spun around, revealing...
Jack and Luke yelled in unison, "Doc?!"
Doctor Spam was tied to the chair.
"Yes! And if you don't hand over the last Time-Space Points, I'll slit his through and eat his a** with a fork! If you hand them over, I'll let the hyperverse go, and rule an empty universe. With the power of the Space-time Points, I can manipulate the universe to my bidding! In other words, it's my own personal h***hole!"
"Do it f***ot!" The Doc pleaded, "Save me! He'll leave the hyperverse alone I you do it! He'll let me live!"
"One frigging second!" Luke said, "How did you get all the Points?!"
"The timelines are f***Ed, remember dips***?" The Doc said.
"With the f***ed timelines, I was able to collect the other ones!"
Luke reached into his bubble vest and pulled a Space-time Point out. Jack did the same, but with two points in his leather jacket.
"Luke, should we..." Jack stammered.
"It's the only way to save the Doc. He's my landlord, and a living being."
"Yeah yeah. Now hand the s*** over!"
"Furries, get back to your ship. The show's over."
Three Time-Space Points rolled toward Other Luke. He placed two in the backpack, and held one in his right hand. An evil smile spread across his face. He pointed it at Doctor Spam.
"YOU SON OF A B****!" The Doc exclaimed.
The Doc's face dropped.
"I... I don't feel so good..."
The Doc slowly turned to dust and faded away.
"What the f***?!" Jack yelled.
"Didn't you know?! I'm the opposite of Frik face over there! I lie!"
The room flooded with light, and blinded Luke and Jack. Then, they were gone.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Let's make this fair shall we?"
Luke, Present, Jack, and Connor woke up. The world they were in seemed to be nothing but a smog filled city. A billboard declared "Bow down to Robotnik! Emperor of New Robotropolis!"
Other Luke threw an empty backpack at the Rift League, "I've scattered the Points around the city. If you can find them before me, you can keep them. If I have 4 and you have 3, then I win. If I have 3 and you have all 7, your a**holes are magical."
Other Luke ran off.
"Present," Luke said, "Two questions. One, did you steal my virginity?"
"Wut?" Present replied.
"And two, hand me a Dr. Pepper!"
Present reached into her cloak, "Dang! I'm sorry Luke."
"So you did steal my virginity!"
"No, I just accidentally bought the Walmart brand of Dr. Pepper! Here's a... Dr. Thunder?"
"Just give it to me!"
Luke chugged the Dr. Thunder down his throat. Immediately after he finished it, the can was crushed in his hands. Luke got into a Dragon Ball Z style 'Power Pose', a slight squat with clenched fists and 45° bends at the elbows.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Luke's perfect hair spiked back and turned turned gold, his eyes glowed a bright yellow, and his sweater and t-shirt tore off, leaving the bubble vest to cover his torso.
Jack struggled for words. "He's... He's a..."
"A f***ing Super Saiyan!" Connor exclaimed.
"I'd call it a Super Rifter!" Jack said.
Luke smiled, "I love it! What caused it?"
"The drink probably." Present recommended.
"Great. Let's find some Dragon Ball ripoffs!"
