I'm Not Ok (Part 1)

24 0 0
                                    

This chapter will have self harm involved so please if you are triggered by things like that skip this chapter :)
Hope you all are having a great week :)
_____________________________
Lances P.O.V.
I lay in my bed staring at my ceiling, silently counting all the plastic glow in the dark stars plastered to it. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in through my nose, picturing that I was drawing light from the stars and filling up my body with it, replacing the darkness inside. Breathing out through my mouth I imagined releasing all of that darkness out. Smiling I could feel the tears stopping and my body begin to relax again. It was over.

I curled in on myself more as the memory of how I used to stop the negative thoughts from consuming me played in my head. I was struggling. Big time.  And there where no plastic stars on my ceiling here to help me. I thought I had calmed down, grown out of that panic and terror of negativity that used to consume me body and soul.

At the garrison I had dealt with the emotions in a much more, painful way, that I had believed I deserved. Glancing down at my thighs I saw the multiple pale lines running parallel to each other.  There were no plastic glowing stars up here. Not in space.

Do it. The voice is back like yesterday. No. I can't. I promised I would stop.

Ever since our last battle with Zarkon I've been hearing these voices in my head. It always sounded slightly female but I couldn't concentrate on them. I need to make them stop.

You know you want to. Come on. You're no paladin. You're just a placeholder...

The voice. It's not leaving. It's been three days and I can't hold on any longer. I can't. I'm useless. I'm no paladin. I'm a placeholder. That's it. That's all.

No Ones P.O.V.
The blue paladin shook as his mind broke once again. The boy, so fragile, shattered. Bringing the thin blade down to his skin he shook uncontrollably, mind going numb and tears falling freely down his tan cheeks.

Do it. You're useless. A placeholder. Unsuitable. Unneeded. How could anyone ever love you? How could he ever love you?  You're broken and ugly. Just do it.

That was the last straw. The voice pushed the broken boy over the edge. The blade made contact with his already scared leg. The thin slit beaded with pearls of red blood.

There. Doesn't that feel good? This is how it should be. Keep going. You're ugly and Useless. No one wants you.

The voice didn't stop. And neither did Lance.

(Time skip brought to you by Hunk and his space cookie break)

It had been three months since the voice started talking to Lance. Three months of torture for the blue paladin but he remained silent about his pain. No one needed to be burdened with his stupid problems anyway. They had much more important things to worry about. Lance still cracked jokes and flirted like there was no tomorrow to cover up everything that was going on with him. The only thing that had changed was that Lance never rested anything on his lap. Not hands not his helmet. Nothing. He became very cautious around that area.

Keith had noticed this shift, despite how small it was, and became very worried for his fellow paladin as well as crush. Yes, Keith Kogane had a giant crush on those blue eyes and crooked smile. He was just so perfect and flirted with every GIRL in sight so Keith kept his distance. He even participated in the stupid rivalry that Lance constructed just to receive the attention he craved from the blue paladin.

Klance OneshotsDonde viven las historias. Descúbrelo ahora