Amnesia | Dylan O'Brien

16

———

(CAMILLA's POV)

I hear the car door open and shut, followed by the sound of the engine starting again.

I stare out of the window for the whole ride to school, observing the cars driving past and every building we drive past, empty thoughts in my mind.

I didn't know what to think about. Whether or not I should break the silence and say something to Dylan. What would I say? I feel like I know him but in reality I don't. I don't know anything about him.

So much is screaming to me that me and Dylan were something. The feeling I get when I'm around him, it's safety.

I don't know him but I did... I did know him and we were there for each other. There must have been a reason for that. And so the best I can do is continue to be there for him.

"Are you ok?" Dylan breaks the silence. I nod, my eyes still fixed on the window. I finally hear the familiar echos of voices in the car park. I can feel Dylan's eyes on me. I turn to look at him, not convinced with my response.

"I'm good." I let out a small laugh and smile. He shakes his head, quietly laughing to himself.

———

"Hey, pretty lady." I hear a voice say from in front of me. I can't see his face but I know it's Charlie.

"Just because there's a locker door in-between us that doesn't mean I don't know that you're smirking right now." I say, my head in my locker fishing to find a few books for class.

I quickly find the books I need and pull my head out. Charlie closes the locker for me but stops me as I start to walk down the hallway.

"Hold on." He turns me around. "Are you free after school?" He asks. "You didn't finish our little text conversation yesterday." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Maybe." I smile. "I got caught up with a few things yesterday, sorry. What are you thinking about doing?"

"I think we're long overdue for a date!" He exclaims and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"Charlie!" I laugh and shake his hands off. "We've known each other for literally a week and a day!"

"Exactly! That's way overdue!" He whines and I roll my eyes in response.

Dylan pops into my head and I furrow my eyebrows for a split second.

"I'll think about it." I reply. He frowns and genuinely looks a bit heartbroken by my answer. "That's not a no." I add, smiling at him. He smiles backs and nods his head.

"I can wait." He grins and places his arm over my shoulder as we walk to the cafeteria.

Lunch was usual. I sat on Charlie's table with his friends occasionally joining in with their conversations.

I kept wondering throughout the day where Dylan was, and that was what was mostly on my mind. My thoughts reared to Dylan earlier when Charlie asked me on a date. I wanted to say yes, Charlie is a sweet, funny person and we get on. So why would I say no? That same question was circling in my mind.

Why would I say no? Because I don't know what me and Dylan were. Heck, I don't know if we still are.

The bell pulls me out of my thoughts. Home time. I walk home, taking time to yet again to think about everything. Seems like all I ever do anymore.

I walk up to the front door, unlocking it and greeted with my mom as I walk into the kitchen.

"Good day?" She smiles and asks.

"Pretty average." I reply and sit down on the kitchen chair, putting my keys and bag on the counter in front of me. I sigh before continuing. "I have a situation." She turns to me. "Charlie has asked me on a date." She smiles, unsure of what to say, knowing exactly why it's a situation.

"And why is that a situation?" She furrows her eyebrows and turns back to the dishes in the sink.

"I'm not stupid." I frown. "Me and Dylan." I add.

It's been standing in front of me this whole time and I've only just opened my eyes. The looks in his eyes always feel like they're solely for me. The ones filled with so much love and care. I've been blinded by what happened.

I forgot the whole boy. Everything about him and everything we had. I forgot my feelings and I don't know if they will come back. And I don't know if I can replace those feelings with new ones. I care about him. But is it only because I feel bad that I forgot everything about someone who clearly cares for me more than anything.

Since the accident, every time I think about him my head feels clouded. All because it brings me back to frustration of not being able to remember anything.

When I think about Charlie, my head is a clear sky.

I hear her quietly sigh. "I'm not allowed to say anything." She responds, her back to me washing the dishes. I nod.

"Is it wrong for me to want to go on the date?" I pause. "Is it wrong to go on the date?" I ask, desperately searching for the right answer.

"It's not wrong."

"But it would hurt him?" My eyes glance to my half of the 'to infinity and beyond' key ring. I reach for the keys and place them in my bag, not wanting to think anymore. "Should I speak to him?" I ask. My mom turns to face me.

"Go on the date." She gives me a soft smile. "I will speak to him." I hesitate before saying ok.