Amnesia | Dylan O'Brien

44

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(DYLAN's POV)

I hear a loud scream. Instantly I wake up and see Cam cross legged with her head in her hands. I hear her quietly whimpering to herself.

"Cam?" I worryingly say, ignoring the complete raspiness of my voice. I sit up and place my hand on her back to let her know I'm here. She flinches and I take my hand off. My eyes drift down and see a wet patch from all of her tears. "Cam?" I get out of the covers and crouch down next to her on the bed. "Cam?" I softly repeat, placing both of my hands either side of her head.

"NO GET AWAY!" She screams.

"Cam, it's me."

"DON'T HURT HER." She screams again, only this time she lifts her head up. I see the once broken and fragile Cam in front of me, as if it's all come back. I really hope it hasn't all come back. I pull her into me as I cradle her in my arms.

"Shhh it's only Dylan." I stroke her hair softly as soft cries come from her small body. It's breaking me inside. "It's okay now, no ones going to hurt anyone." I kiss her forehead and softly sway her in my arms.

"Dyl?" Her head lifts up from my arms as she looks at me with red, bloodshot puffy eyes. She called me Dyl... she hasn't called me that since the accident.

"Yes baby?" My eyes melt as I look into her broken ones.

"It hurts... like really, really bad." She fists part of my shirt in her hand, taking part of the pain away as a river flows down her soft, gentle cheeks. "I had a dream, a-about my dad, and my younger self. It all came b-back." I tremble as I watch her struggle to form her words. I have tears in my eyes because I hate to see her like this.

"It's all gone now, he's gone now. For good. You're safe with me." I pull her into my arms once again and place another kiss on her forehead. "You're safe with me." I quietly mutter under my breath, more to myself than her. A singular tear escapes my eye and I wipe it away. I need to stay strong for her. "I'll go get you some water okay?"

"No, please don't go." She puts her arms tightly around my torso. "Please." She says as she looks at me with so many threatening tears in her eyes.

"I wouldn't dare leave you." I cup her cheeks and stare deeply into her eyes. "But you need to drink something.". She nods and breaks eye contact. I remove her from my arms and place her gently on the bed so that she is comfortable. "I'll be back in a minute I promise." I kiss her forehead and leave the room to head downstairs.

After pouring a glass of water for Cam, I notice I left my phone on the kitchen counter. I place the glass on the table and sigh, my thoughts all over the place. I click onto google and search for Cam's therapist.

This is the first time she has had a nightmare about her dad in 2 years and I'm scared it might be my fault. If she remembered us she would remember that I helped her through everything, I helped her know that it was all over, that everything is better now.

"Hello you've reached Donna Murphy's therapist line. We are currently unable to take your ca-" I hang up.

"I need to go." A voice says, my head shoots to see Cam standing next to the kitchen door.

"I don't think you shou-"

"I don't care, Dylan! I'm leaving." She protests and starts to walk off.

"You're not walking!" I exclaim, angered that she knows she shouldn't leave right now. I pick up my car keys from the side.

I drive us there in silence. She gets out of the car without saying a word, not even a goodbye. She slams the door shut and doesn't look behind her, just ahead. I sigh and slouch on the seat as I slam my head on the steering wheel. It nearly broke me the first time, seeing her like this again after so long might finally break me.

My phone rings and I lift my head up and reach for it, pressing accept.

"This is Donna Murphy. How may I help?" A polite voice asks.

"Oh thank god." I mutter. "This is, um, Cam's friend, Camilla Sawyer. I just wanted to mention something."

"Is something the matter? It's quite early in the morning." I hear a little laugh. She sure talks like a therapist. "Er hello?"

"Has she mentioned anything about any nightmares she's had recently?" I ask.

"I have a level of patient confidentially. I can't really disclose what is talked about at my sessions." She pauses. "Who is this?"

"Dylan O'Brien. I'm Cam's friend." I answer.

"Dylan." She says. "She's lucky to have you. She treasures you so much. I can say that you're more than just friends."

"We used to be." I mumble.

"You are now. Look Dylan, love is a powerful thing. She may not remember your relationship but love will gravitate you both back together. It sounds like it already is."

"She talks about us?" I ask, curious and surprised.

"Of course. She knows how much you've done for her." I nod.

"Thank you. It's nice to feel like I'm getting her back." I say.

"Of course." She pauses. "What did you want to ask about nightmares?"

"Has she ever said about these headaches before? Or any dreams that relate to past memories?"

"She's mentioned about having small throbbing pains in her head, but nothing of the past memories." I sigh.

"She just woke up screaming because of a dream she had about her father. She hasn't had one of those in 2 years. I just wanted to check that it hasn't been happening before today. I can't imagine her to go through that again."

"This is understandable and can be quite common in similar patients. She's had a lot of head trauma since the accident, it is likely to have pushed some things back into her mind." She pauses as she thinks. "How was she after she woke up?"

"I just dropped her off at her house and she went and didn't say a word. She was shouting and acting angry. I feel like," I sigh, not wanting to even picture it.

"Feel like what?"

"I feel like she might be going back to how she was when she was depressed. That's how she acted. She pushed me away. She blocked everyone out because of her father. I had to slowly bring her back but she doesn't even remember me doing that the first time. I'm just worried she'll be scared, thinking that she can't get out of it."

"She might push you away, but do what you've done before. Be there for her in every way. Give her space if she needs it. I know you can do it again. I have my sessions with her and I will do my absolute best if she comes to them. But I know she will listen to you. She might not have said it yet but I can tell that she loves you."