I was stressed.
After my "episode" at the park, I didn't sleep. Usually I packed a few hours in, but my peaceful walk had turned sour so quick, I didn't have much time to shut my eyes between staring sadly at my ceiling and sobbing into my sheets. My night was ruined and it was nobody's fault but my own. I could never give myself a break.
I hated myself.
Even thought the deep bags under my eyes and dents on my arms and hands made it clear I wasn't doing great, my dad made me go to school the next day. He didn't notice the little things about me, like when something was a bit off I was quiet, even more than normal. Instead of fighting it, I packed up my bag and went off to school, where I spent the entire day in a tired haze and only popped out of when a teacher or Blake called my name.
Even at football practice, where I usually try my best playing, I sort of just went with the flow. The ball rolled to my feet a few times and I kicked it away lightly to anyone in close proximity, on my practice team or not.
"Shit, Mate. You doing alright?" Blake asked after I kicked the ball directly out of bounds where nobody was waiting to be passed to.
I pursed my lips and gave him the best smile I could muster up. "Just tired, that's all."
He nodded, but his eyebrows drew together in concern. "How much have you slept? Did something happen with your dad again?"
I lightly pushed my friend away. "I'm fine, really. I'll be back in it by tomorrow," I promised, knowing that wouldn't be the case. Usually it took me weeks to get out of a slump, depending on how bad the situation is. Blake knew that as well, but he didn't press any further. He simply ruffled my blond hair. Blake seemed like the only person who treated me like normal anymore.
"Rosen!" Our coach barked, "get over here!"
I jogged over. "Need something?"
"Sit out for now, kid. You're not playing your best and it's hurting your team. What's gotten into you?"
Again, I shrugged it off and pretended like I was alright. "I guess I didn't get enough sleep."
Coach gave me a skeptical glance, but pointed to a bench behind the field anyway. "Promise me you'll get a good rest tonight."
I nodded and walked over to the bench. My legs were sore from running. I felt like they'd been sawed off and sellotaped back on. I didn't mind it, though. Running made me feel like I was escaping, and all I ever wanted to do was escape.
I watched Blake and the guys kick the ball around, a small piece of me longing to snap out of it and jump right back in like nothing happened. My mind was screaming—begging almost— for me to sprint out there and push it all down, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Too many thoughts clouded my head and stopped me from doing what I really wanted.
I told that to my dad once.
"Cheer up, Elijah. Make some friends," he had replied.
I didn't tell him much anymore.
"You look bored," someone said from the bench beside me.
I jumped out of my seat and let out a very high pitched yelp, causing a few of my teammates to look over. I ignored them and turned to the boy, who was now sporting a giant grin.
"What was that for?"
He only smiled bigger. "Nice to see you again, too, Eli."
I peered around to make sure nobody's eyes were on me, then grabbed Adam by the wrist and pulled him behind a patch of trees. "Need something?" I asked.
"Yeah, actually. Are you- um- are you alright? Y'know, because of last night?"
"Look, thanks for worrying about me, really, but I don't need sympathy or pity or anything," I assured him and began walking back to my place on the bench.
"Eli, that wasn't something to just pass off as normal," he said.
I felt my face heat up. I spun around on the heel of my cleat towards Adam. "I said I was alright. I'm completely fine."
"But-" he started.
"Quit meddling in someone else's business. Can you please just fuck off?" I spat back, my eyes squeezed shut.
When I opened them, his cheeks were bright red. He stared down at the dirt, his lips pulled into a straight like, like he was forcing them to stay put. A wave of guilt hit me as I realised what I said.
"Shit, Adam. I didn't mean to say that" was all I could say, oversimplifying how bad I felt.
He shook his head, strands of his black hair falling in front of his face. "No, you're right," he said, letting out a sad laugh, "I'm a bit nosey. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
More guilt hit me. I felt like I was going to throw up.
"And you are, I guess. So... see you around." He gave me a small wave—which I returned with a shaking hand—and walked away.
<><><>
Wooo chapter 2 let's gooooo. I was gonna wait til next week to post but I got excited so here ya go. How has your summer been? My summers been pretty boring since I finished softball, so I've been writing a lot. I'll probably be to eager to wait a week for another update, so expect one soon :)
What are you thoughts so far? What are your opinions on Eli and Adam? Leave a comment if you'd like.
I hope you enjoyed and don't forget to favourite, comment, and add this story to your library so you never miss an update!
~Teddy
YOU ARE READING
Count The Stars
Teen FictionElijah Rosen, an introverted seventeen year old with a love for football, sneaks out almost every night to get away from the problems he faces during the day. He feels like his anxiety is taking over his life, and the only place he can go to escape...