Count The Stars

three

That night I went outside a lot earlier than normal.

At 12:00, I went to open to my window. I quietly pulled my curtains away and unhooked the weak latch that was keeping me from the dark.

The guilt of making Adam feel like he was overstepping was eating me from the inside out. The pain in my stomach hadn't subsided, and neither had the massive headache that was no doubt caused by overthinking. I decided that staying outside for a bit longer would be healthy, even if it meant I'd be exhausted for the next day.

I hopped down to the pavement then started walking towards the park. I tried to distract myself by counting the dandelions that we're littered throughout the dying grass.

Counting had always been comforting to me. It was sort of hypnotic in a way, like I could put myself in a trance just by numbering off cracks in the pavement.

I was on three hundred forty seven when I jogged headfirst into what I could only assume was a tree. I was too busy staring down at flowers and focusing on my counting rather than my whereabouts. However when I looked up, the tree I'd bumped into turned out to be a person with a very familiar face. I contemplated running, but instead, I just said:

"I thought you were a tree."

Which is not a great way to greet someone, but it was met with an awkward laugh.

"Right," Adam said.

We stood there for another minute, uncomfortable silence suffocating us, but neither of us made a move to leave.

"Wanna go sit in the pool?" He finally asked.

<><><>

"Why were you out?" I asked after we made ourselves comfortable. For Adam, that meant sprawling out on the ground (does he know how many bugs live there?), and for me, that mean curling up with my knees pulled into my chest a solid distance from Adam, but he didn't seem to mind.

He shrugged awkwardly because of how he was laying and I almost laughed, but I stopped myself. "I didn't feel good."

I scooted away more. "You reckon you're going to vomit?"

He chuckled. "No, not like that. Like in my head."

"Oh."

"I dont know, it's dumb. I just remember you telling me last night how running at night worked for you, so I decided to try it out."

"It's not dumb," I assured him.

He lifted his head up and looked at me. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I get the same way. Especially today, since..." I trailed off, remembering why I was so angry at myself.

"Since what?"

I hesitated. I didn't want to bring it up.

"Eli?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"Since I was being a prick at practice when all you wanted to do was help," I blurted out.

He looked confused for a minute, then he remembered. "Right. Don't worry about it, seriously."

"But you didn't deserve that and I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I am sorry though. I just- you- ugh this is so fucking hard."

"Then drop it," he said, radiating nonchalance while I was far from it.

I tried for a minute to forget it, but I just couldn't. Keeping it in made me feel dizzy, like the guilt was choking me and keeping me from breathing.

"You said it wasn't normal," I finally spat out.

He raised an eyebrow. "I did?"

"Yes," I nodded, "you did. And you probably didn't realise it at the time, so it's alright. It's just... when people tell me that I'm weird or that my mind isn't normal or whatever, I get pissed. I say things that I don't entirely mean, and I don't know why. I wish I did, but I don't. So I'm sorry."

He blinked.

He probably thinks I'm psychotic. Why did I even have to tell him all that? He said it was fine. I'm so-

"I get it," he said, cutting off my thinking.

"You do?"

"For sure! I have a hundred things that'll push me over the edge if someone says them."

He smiled, then I smiled. "Okay."

"Music helps me a lot when that happens," he told me, gesturing to the iPod on his lap.

"I count," I admitted.

"Makes sense," he replied.

Makes sense

<><><>

Yay chapter 3 is here! I really hope this part wasn't boring, but I promise it wasn't filler or anything. It's pretty important and now there will be a lot more Adam, which I think is a good thing?? I dont know I hope so.

I hope everyone's summer has been good, and if you live in Australia winter?? I think?? What's up with that. Sorry I'm getting off topic.

What are your opinions on this chapter? What kind of relationship do you think Eli and Adam will have in the future? Best mates? Enemies? I'm interested to know!

Oi I'm annoying ok ANYWAY, make sure to vote and comment (feel free to point out grammar errors I won't be mad in fact I'll be grateful) and add to your library so you don't miss an update. Love y'all!!

~Teddy