Count The Stars

sixteen

To: Lij
Mate come on

It was 2 weeks after Grace and I talked about Adam and I hadn't spoken with him since. I ignored his texts, his calls, his waves in school, and especially the pool. The thought of him being dangerous made my head hurt. If the rumours were true, he'd beaten up countless innocent people just for the fun of it. Grace made him sound so nasty, and I felt stupid for trusting him.

I trusted him with my biggest secrets, and he acted like he cared. He acted like he was innocent and happy and carefree, but he wasn't. He was violent and selfish and manipulative. He was a bully, and the thought of me even speaking to him made me sick to my stomach.

To: Lij
Why are you avoiding me
What did I do

He'd asked those questions almost daily, so much so that I nearly felt sorry for him. Then I remembered his black and blue knuckles and my imagination went wild.

He punched a girl

He punched a guy

He did it for fun

Even through all the bad thoughts and things Grace said, I still wanted to talk to him. Every night, I passed by the pool and had to stop myself from hopping the fence and sliding down. I resisted the urge to pretend like I didn't know how dangerous Adam really was.

I didn't know how much I liked having him around until he was gone. I went back to holding things in, because who would listen? Blake didn't care much anymore, the guys would make fun of me, and I didn't want to show Grace that side of me. The only person I could trust anymore was Adam, and I pushed him away and convinced myself it was for my own safety.

I stared at my screen, my eyes tired burning from the bright light. I started tapping the keyboard before I thought what I was going to say through.

To: Adamn
what happened to your hands

To: Lij
What? my hands are fine?

To: Adamn
they're bruised

To: Lij
They're fine

To: Adamn
ill meet you at the pool in 5

Before I knew it, I was jogging the path like it was just another normal night. I forced myself to fall into a counting trance, numbering the breaths that came in puffs of cool air around my face. I always thought was refreshing to run in such cold weather, and England always provided.

When I arrived at the chain link fence I had become a pro at climbing, I stopped and stood still. I thought about jogging away and playing it safe, but then I thought about hopping into the musty pool and finally speaking to him again. I knew I wanted to go with the latter, but then a picture of Adam— his fist raised and his features scrunched together and bright red—popped into my head and made me rethink for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

But I didn't have time to rethink, because a familiar voice from behind me spoke up.

"Are we going in?" Adam asked.