Requisites Of Life

Chapter 9

Cooper

Everything in the room was silent, save me and my mom. It was mostly me making all the noise, but all that I could hear was my heartbeat thumping. It was so loud that my ears hurt. Everything else was drowned out by the constant thump thud, thump thud, thump thud. I could hardly pick up on my mom's hushes, her fingers dragging from my sweaty forehead to the curls sticking up on the back of my head. 

In the midst of a panic attack, I felt everything and nothing at the same time. What does that feel like? Like pure panic. Like shit. And what can I do about it? Nothing, nothing but sit and wait. Sometimes, like this specific one, they're more subtle, and last much longer. Other times, they're sharp and brutal, but barely last the length of a few songs. One is like panic that comes from the inside-out, and is more mental panic than anything else. The other is like panic coming from the outside-in, and is more physical panic than anything else. 

Either way, they're both horrible. 

But they all settle down, eventually, and leave me with the winded feeling in my lungs, hands freezing from lack of circulation, and this uncomfortably light feeling across my body. 

"Are you good now?" my mom asked, her voice barely above a whisper. I looked into her tired, though still compassionate eyes. 

I nodded, reaching across the counter for the glass of water I originally came out of my room for. 

"This is the second one in a week, Cooper. You usually don't get them this frequently. Is something going on?"

I shook my head, rubbing my exhausted eyes before taking another sip of water. She pursed her lips, examining me for a moment until determining me truthful. 

She wasn't looking hard enough. 

"I'm going back to bed," I finally sighed. 

There was a pause before her reply, probably from her mind being too tired to think clearly. "Alright, love you." 

"Love you too." 

Once in my room, I listened and waited until I heard her door shut to get my phone out again. For the third time that night, I read over the message sent in response to my greeting. 

Hey Cooper. What do you say to someone you haven't seen in ten years? One year became two, two became three, and next thing I new, I thought it was too late to get back in contact. I was afraid that you wouldn't want to see me after all that time, and I knew that your mother wouldn't let me see you after so long. The longer it got, the worse it seemed to suddenly reappear in your life. It's amazing to hear from you after so long, and if you want, I hope that we can meet up sometime in the future. 

Even when I pressed the home button on my phone, my mind kept rereading it. I was so focused on reading it once again that I didn't notice the text from Amelia at first glance. It was from half an hour ago. Trying to distract my mind, I sent a message back, only to get no response. 

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"'Sup," Dolan said, the sudden appearance of his voice startling me. 

My body jerked to the side, the controller that was in my hands flying out of grip in the process. "Dude!" I yelped. He hopped over the arm of the couch, bringing down a few pillows with him. I grievously picked up the controller and collected the batteries from the floor, then took a seat next to him while jamming the batteries back in. "Don't you knock?" 

"The door was unlocked," he shrugged. 

"That's not really an answer to my question," I pointed out. "How could you know that I wasn't getting dressed, or out of the shower, or something." 

"Or getting it on with Amelia," he smirked. 

I shoved him for that one. 

"Oh come on, dude! Why would she be at your house, like, everyday if neither of you two liked each other?" 

"Because we're friends," I said. "And we don't hang out everyday." 

"You don't hang out with me or Kyle, or even Dan as often as you two do!" He turned on his controller and waited for me to add him to the game before adding, "Besides, she's already told me about you two." 

It took me a second to process what he's just said. I turned to him with wide eyes and mouth agape. "She did?" 

A small laugh laugh barely escaped his nose, his body shaking as the laugh crescendo inside of him, until finally letting it out of his mouth. "No. She never said anything. But you just did." 

All I could think was why? 

"Dude, you're actually a thing?" his eyebrows raised with amusement, or maybe disbelief. 

"No, no--it's complicated," I said, burrowing my forehead in my hands as I shook my head. "Please, just don't mention it to anyone." 

He feigned offense. "Cooper, I'm not a monster. Don't worry, it stays between us." 

We went back to playing the game, staying relatively silent for a moment. And then I spoke up again. "Do you think you could keep something else between us for a little bit, too?" 

He glanced in my direction for a split second. "What?" 

"My dad wants to meet up with me." 

It took him a moment to find his words, and those that were most sympathetic. "Why?" he asked, quickly following up with, "I mean, why now? Why all of a sudden?" 

"Because I messaged him." 

Another glance in my direction. "Why?" 

I had to think on that one for a moment, but settled with the old, easy answer of "I'm not sure." 

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Hey guys! Thanks for reading! I'm trying to get back into the rhythm of writing. I hope you liked this chapter. 

So Dolan's finally appeared in the book again! Gotta love that boy, he's awesome and hilarious. 

What did you think of the chapter? What about the book so far? 

Love ya.