The Asshole is my Kryptonite

My Biggest Fear

Chapter 10

It’s scary really.

How much the past can affect the present.

And that’s when you start to question it - What’s the point of trying for the future when really life is simply a continuous cycle of new life, laughter, grief and then death? Causing other people pain once you’re gone; leaving people in tears. Why develop such an attachment to people when really everyone is going to leave you in the end? And if they don’t, you’re the one leaving them, and sometimes it’s not your choice. That’s the thing about life. You are forced to live through it, because if you don’t your merely destructing the lives of those who grew to care about you.

And that my friend is my biggest fear. The terror of losing those you love. You know it’s coming - you know it will happen sooner or later, and yet you never cease to grow some form of a bond between the two of you, although it has a definite expiration date.

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This day exactly four years ago, I had lost my protector, my guardian and most of all, my mother. Dad had given me the option whether to go to school or stay home, but last time I stayed home I had received seventeen missed calls and twenty-eight new messages all because I had turned my phone off for a couple hours, all worried that I had done something drastic. So I had decided to save everyone the concern, and actually proceed to the second hell, that went by the name of school.

I quickly sent Miles a text telling him not to worry about driving me to school since I’ll be walking and before I could receive a message of protest, I had stridden out of the house; earphones in ears and music loud enough that it would zone the rest of this chaotic world out.

Four songs later, I had arrived at school and suddenly I had wished that I was under my covers at home. All my friends were tip-toeing around me with such apprehension; as if they were afraid I could break down at any word. All except Cass.

“Wow, people are really avoiding you today aye?” She chirped up from next to me walking by me towards my locker.

“Yeah, it’s absolutely great.” Sarcasm dripped from my words and she had only shot me a smile. Cass was one of the first people to actually hear about the incident and rushed to my house to hold me in her arms while I mourned. She knows that today, not only will I be really harsh but is also aware that I hate the way people treat me, as if I’m a shattered piece of glass that had to be held with precaution.

“How are you doing?” she questioned, her features softening.

“I’m okay, I guess.” She knew not to push it any further and gave me a warm smile before hugging me tightly and heading off to homeroom. I took in one deep breath and continued the daily process of school; Homeroom, period one, period two and the thing I dreaded most today, recess. Walking into recess, you can say I didn’t have the biggest appetite. I placed myself by Cass and without surprise Miles sat on my other side.

“Hey princess?” I looked towards him with arched eyebrows.

“Next time when you tell me that I’m not driving you to school, tell me a little earlier so I have time to argue with you.” A small smile broke out on my face and I folded my arms on the table, resting my head on them, the chatter of the group echoing around my mind as I could feel myself zoning out of this cruel world and into my own solemn one.

“Princess,” I was shaken out of my world by Miles,

“C’mon, the bell rung fifteen minutes ago.” I thanked him and grabbed my stuff before making my way towards period 3. I bid Miles farewell as he approached his classroom and I continued walking towards mine, but of course this day could only get better. Note the Sarcasm.