Our Plan {narry}

Chapter 18: Make this place your home

 (A/N Pleaseee check out "Remember When" for me, I love writing it!)

 

 

"Look I'm telling you, we can not ask them that question!" I yelled at Louis, who stood just feet away with Zayn by his side. Louis' eyes widened, casting a pointed look my way.

"And I'm telling you, they would be more than willing to answer if we asked it tomorrow," He argued back, giving Zayn a look as if telling him to agree immediately. Zayn put his hands up in defense, giving off a helpless look. Louis sighed, a hand on his hip.

"I don't care what they would do! You cannot ask a crowd of helpless teenagers, more than likely some of them actually younger then ten, who they would choose to sleep with out of the band!" I defended my point, looking over my shoulder at my boyfriend who stood behind me. Harry raised his eyebrows, obviously seeing the looks that he was getting from both his boyfriend, and best friend, each telling him to choose a different side. It was a pointless argument really, yet that's just what we did. Working with the same people all day for the last four years didn't give you much to talk about later on. Harry smiled innocently at me, simply shrugging his shoulders as if to say 'this ones on you.' I sighed, looking back at my determined friend.

"Alright fine, do as you'd please," I gave up, sighing again in both annoyance and defeat. Louis rolled his eyes, raising his eyebrows for better point.

"Gosh Niall are you an idiot? I would never ask such a vulgar question to a crowd of innocent teens!" He gasped, a grin hiding behind his over sized ego. I smiled back, shaking my head slightly.

And that's where our day began.

    *******************************************

    The arena was larger than expected, or rather larger than I'd remembered that was. It seemed almost a bit overwhelming now, standing here facing a crowd of empty seats and eerie silence. The others where back at the hotel, or possibly doing gosh knows what, leaving me be as I'd decided to stay here, just to let the feeling of home absorb into my skin. I'd been many places, as a matter of fact that was an understatement, yet standing here, just hearing silence, something any of us rarely heard, I realized it didn't matter what you saw, what you'd seen in the places you'd went. Home was where the heart is, where the heart learned to love in the first place. You couldn't make a place your home, if your heart stayed somewhere else, yearned for somewhere else.

   I suppose it was like all those years of chasing after someone I thought, almost knew, I couldn't have. To be blunt, I could basically have any girl I wanted, not that that would matter because I could never like them back that way. Yet I could also have any man interested in men, and even though I knew that, I hadn't budged. I had kept my eyes trained on what I wanted, or rather what I desired. I'd basically put myself down over every little thing for years. Told myself I wasn't enough for him, wasn't right. I'd said the reason he wasn't with me wasn't that he didn't like men, but because I wasn't enough. I'd said horrid things about myself, and admittedly it was hard to erase the things you've said, the things you've done. But through all that, I looked at him. It caused me pain, yes, but I looked at him. I guess the reason I was letting all of this sink in now, was because I was home, I was with my heart again, and only now was I actually realizing how much it belonged to Harry. My heart had always belonged to Harry, now the only obstacle in my way was getting him to give me his heart, so I could show him what it felt like to have someone think of you the way I think of him. I smiled to myself, looking up at the enclosed arena, thinking to myself that it wouldn't matter if I was suddenly swarmed by fans surrounding the gates and walls, because either way they would be people that came from where I did. Like a small family. If the Irish fans knew I felt this way about them, it would cause the entire fandom it go into cardiac arrest, which I didn't want right before my show. I smiled again, breathing in the Irish air, not caring that I sounded crazy. I knew it sounded crazy, yet didn't care. I loved the silence, and I loved the familiarity of my surroundings, seeming as if each place brought back some sort of memory someone had created for me. Now I figured, it was time to make my own.