Our Plan {narry}

Chapter 11: Strong

   

               I opened my eyes, only to shut them a moment later. It was so bright in this room. Why was it so warm anyway? I rolled over slightly, only to bump into another person. My eyes widened. Oh God, what happened last night? Who the hell was this? I pulled the covers back, to receive the shock of my life. Harry was lying next to me, his arm draped around my back. I could feel his fingertips brushing against my bare hip, sending immediate shivers down my spine. I had to practically force myself to remain breathing, as I was suddenly feeling like I was going to scream. Wait, why were my hips bare? Bracing myself, I peeked down under the covers slightly, breathing out a dramatic sigh. They were bare because my pants were pulled down slightly, hanging rather low on the bottom of my hips. Well, at least we didn't do the dirty. I would want to remember that. I chuckled quietly at my own thoughts, only maybe I wasn't so quiet. I felt Harry move slightly, peeking over at me. His eyes were endlessly green, and I didn't even hesitated before letting myself get lost in them. Not that it mattered, he didn't even look away.I glanced down to his lips, finding them chapped and amusingly pink. I smiled slightly, before mentally face palming myself. Who just looked at their best mates lips and smiled? That didn't make me look creepy at all now did it? I smiled back, feeling my cheeks tint red.

"Mornin.'" Harry mumbled, looking down at his hands. I watched him for a second, wondering if this was weird for him. God, was he even sober last night? It was quite obvious that I wasn't. I didn't respond to him, because I was beginning to have an interesting thought. Would telling Harry I was gay really be the end of the world? Sure, it could be the end of One Direction, but i didn't see Harry as that kind of person. I had had my one cuddle with him, and it had felt wonderful. I guess a part of me had always thought that after I had gotten a glimpse of what dating him would be like, I would suddenly change my feelings.

I had been wrong.

"Harry, I'm going to get up and dressed. when I come back out, there's something I've got to tell you." I whispered nervously. He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes as he held back a yawn. Once his eyes caught and held mine, I knew this could go two ways. He would be accepting, and love me for me, no matter who I was, or he could judge me and become incredibly awkward around me. But I couldn't think about that if I was ever going to get this done. I smiled weakly as I stood up with shaky legs, walking into the bathroom. As I pulled on old gym shorts and a tank top, I couldn't help but recognize the endless butterflies that had seemingly erupted in my stomach. Coming "out of the closet", no matter what anyone says, is one of the scariest things you'll ever do. The only words that really describe it is horrifyingly unsure. You're unsure how people will take it, you're unsure how people will treat you, and most importantly you're unsure how you'll eventually treat yourself. Did I really even want to do this? Did I really need to do this?

     If I had ever, in my time of knowing him, doubted my love for Harry, it wasn't now. He was so incredibly important to me, he was my definition of perfect. Harry was endless sea green eyes, he was  curved dimples, and he was musical laughter that even the best of songs didn't hold a card to.

 He was my first one sided love. 

   With those thoughts fresh in my mind, I walked back out into the suddenly cold bedroom, my questioning eyes landing on Harry. He was perched with his back rested against the headboard, his knees pulled to his chest with his chin resting on them. When his eyes found mine, it was hard to explain the feeling that landed in my stomach. love, fondness, happiness, yet at the same time tiredness and pain. This was actually causing me pain. I sat down beside him lightly, casting my eyes in his direction. I took a deep, calming breath, attempting to steady my heartbeat.

"Promise not to hate me Harry? No matter what?" I asked. I knew this wasn't a fair question, considering he didn't know what to not hate me for yet, but it gave me a small peace of mind if only for a moment. Much, much to my breathtaking surprise, Harry grasped my petite hand in between his two large ones, resting them in his lap.

"Of course love. I could never hate you. Ever." He whispered. I tried not to allow the words to calm me, I really tried, but I still felt a swelling in my chest. Hope. It was now, or it was never. But I couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried to force the words out of my mouth, they wouldn't come. I should just get up, and yell April fools. That wasn't a terrible plan. But it wasn't my plan. It wasn't Our Plan. If I didn't do this, then I would literally have no chance with him. None at all. And that, wasn't an option.

"I'm gay." I whispered back, looking down at our joined hands. I closed my eyes, waiting for his warm hands to release mine in disgust. I was waiting for him to hate me, pinch me even. I started to shake, even though I tried desperately to stop them.

I felt arms wrap around me protectively. 

 I let out a sob or relief. An ugly, choked, mangled sob. I buried my face into the warmth of his chest, allowing my tears to trickle down past his stomach. But he just help me tighter.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I choked out, barely able to even process what I was saying. I felt his arms tense, and before I knew it, my chin was being tilted up, and I was staring deeply into the eyes of the beautiful person holding me.

"What's there to be sorry for Niall?" He asked honestly. I didn't understand what he meant, because I mean, didn't he hear what I said. "Niall, how many legs do you have?" He asked, seemingly changing the subject. Confused wasn't even a strong enough word, but I still answered.

"....Two?"

"Do you have a heart that beats?" He whispered, laying his forehead against mine.

"Of course?"

"Do you have two eyes?" He asked, this time staring intensely into them. I wanted horribly to nudge my nose with his, but I answered anyway.

"Obviously." I answered, feeling relieved yet unsure. Had it been such a shock, that I had driven him mental?

"So why Niall, are you apologizing, just because those two little eyes prefer to look at boys? Why would I hate you, just because one day that heart you have will belong to a man? What could be wrong with the fact that one day those cute little legs will wrap around a mans waist while you kiss? Because Niall, I don't see anything wrong with any of those things." He breathed out. Small, delicate tears wound their way down my cheeks as I looked at him. As relieved as I was, I couldn't help but wonder if he would still think those things if he knew I was in love with him.

"Thank you. I love you." I sniffed out. It was a casual thing all of us said to each other, but in this case those words held to much emotion for me to even describe. The easiest, was love.

"I love you too." He laughed lightly, lacing his arms with mine. To someone who didn't know us, we would seem like a couple. This thought sent my heart on a rampage. "Oh, and Niall, you're not gay." He looked into my eyes sternly. My small smile vanished, as my chest tightened in fear.

"What?" Was all I could muster out. His eyes lightened, causing my chest to loosen.

"You're not gay or straight. You're human."

                     A/N Sorry for mistakes, and for taking slightly longer to update.

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