Any Time At All

Chapter Nine

Slowly, your eyes open and the sound of the heart rate monitor fills the silent room. Everything comes back to you. The day before, you and your mother arrived at the hospital with a surprisingly caring Steve by your side. Your mother was brought into a small room with light blue walls and a tiled floor. The room only has one window but it's so small that the light from the window would be enough to illuminate the entirety of it. Your mother lays on the hospital bed, sleeping and exhausted from this battle she has been fighting. You find yourself sitting in an uncomfortable chair. The padding on the back and bottom of the chair is thin and the wooden arms have made marks on your forearms. You sit up to look at your surroundings and you see Steve, still sitting next to you in the other chair with his head tilted over the back and his arms lying loose in his lap. You attempt to be quiet and walk over to the bathroom but as you shut the door, Steve wakes up.

"(Y/N)?" he says sleepily. He rubs his eyes and sits up, adjusting to the LED lighting of the hospital room. He looks over to the window and sees that it's night time. He puts his face in his hands and realizes that his mom is at home this week. He goes to the hopsital phone and quickly calls his house. 

"Harrington residence," his mother says casually. She doesn't sound all that frantic, considering that he hasn't come home. 

"Mom, it's me, Steve. I'm alright, I just wanted to tell you that I'm with (Y/N) and her mom at the hospital."

"Ok, is everything alright?" She says with the slightest amount of concern. 

"Yeah, we're fine. I'll probably be home tomorrow."

"Fine, just get caught up on your school work so you can actually go to college." And with that, she hangs up the phone. Steve puts it down and turns back to his seat to find you coming out of the bathroom. 

"Hey," he says nervously. He hasn't talked to you since the break up and all he can say is 'hey'? You walk up to him with a mix of emotions stirring through you.  On one hand, you're angry for what he did to you but on the other hand, you are grateful that he was considerate enough to stand by you. 

"Hey," you look to the ground and sit back down in your chair. "Thank you," you blurt out in the silence. Steve looks over to you from where he's standing and awkwardly runs his hand through his hair. You love when he does that but you have to stray away from those feelings. "Thank you for staying with me. I appreciate it, a lot."

"It's really no problem, (Y/N/N). I'm here for you," he sits down next to you in his chair and puts a hand on your knee. 

"See, that's where I'm confused," you turn your body around so you can face him and the movement takes Steve's hand off of you. A look of confusion sweeps over him. 

"What do you mean?" His brows are furrowed and he goes over in his head what he had said previously.

"You said that you're here for me. I haven't talked to you in months," You raise your eyebrows and watch Steve's face go from confused to concerned. 

"(Y/N) I-" 

"No, Steve, I'm serious. You haven't talked to me in months," you begin to raise your voice but quiet down when you hear your mom stir in her bed. You can feel tears forming in your eyes. All of this time, you have been wondering why Steve left you. You thought maybe you weren't pretty enough for him, worthy of him, or willing to jump into bed with him. Then you think back to how long you have known Steve and how you two were best friends. You know that Steve isn't that kind of person but you also know that people can change. 

"I know, I know and I'm so sorry. I just, I don't-" he stops to compose himself. "I don't even know what to say."

"Why? I want to know why? Did you get bored or am I not good enough for you?" Tears are falling off of your cheeks as your feelings pour out of you and old thoughts come back to the surface. 

"Oh my god, of course not. (Y/N) you, if anything, are better than me, in so many ways. I can't even begin to tell you how special you are." He touches your arm reassuringly. 

"Just please help me understand."

"I can't," he takes his hand off your arm and stands up. He walks to the door, "Give my best to your mom." He closes the door behind him and leaves you in the room filled with the sound of your mothers heart beat on the monitor and only the scent of him to remind you that your encounter was real.