Broken

~10~

Caelyn

It hurts, oh it hurts so fucking much!

Today is the one year anniversary of Jason's death.  I'm balling my eyes out in my room, I haven't gone to any of my classes.

Its about one and there is a knock on my door.

"Please leave me alone."  I say to whoever is at the door.

"Celyn it's me, Dallas.  Open up darlin'."

I walk over to the door, and open it.  Before he even get through the door, I collapse onto him.

"It hurts so much, Dallas, on my God, so much.  He's gone and he is never coming back."  I'm wailing so loudly, all of campus can probably hear me.

"Oh, darlin' I'm so sorry, I would die if it meant you wouldn't be in pain ever again."

I pull back from his warm and safe chest, and look into his beautiful eyes.

I know he is telling the truth.

And that's when I kiss him.

His eyes are shocked at first, but then his warm, soft lips start kissing me back.

The pain quickly evaporates as his lips move on mine.

The kiss isn't sexual.  Its sweet and slow, like a first kiss. 

He slowly pulls back.

"I want. you to know that I want this with all my heart, and I would give up everything just to be with you, but are you sure this is the right time?"

He's so sweet and caring, maybe people do change.

"Yes, I haven't felt as safe, calm, and happy until I met you.  I think this is Jason's way of telling me to move on."

He looks lovingly into my eyes, and it makes my heart melt.  He pulls me into his arms and just holds me.

Somehow, it feels even better than the kiss.  It makes me fell warm and loved when he wraps me in his tender arms.

He starts to hum and sing a song and it seems so familiar.

"I really hate to let this moment go

touching you're skin and your hair falling slow

when a goodbye kiss

feels like this"

I interupt his soft singing. 

"Except this kiss isn't a goodbye kiss for us, its only just the beginning."

He smiles and starts to sing the rest of Jason Aldene's part.

"Don't you wanna stay here a little while

don't you wanna hold each other tight

don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight

don't you wanna stay here a little while

we could make forever feel this way

don't you wanna stay"

I work up the courage with tears stinging my eyes, and start to sing the next part.

"Let's take it slow I don't wanna move too fast

I don't wanna just make love I wanna make lobe last

when you're up this high

it's a sad goodbye"

Dallas and I sing the next chorus together softly.  And then the song is over.

"You have the most beautiful voice I've ever heard."

"Thank you, Dallas" I whisper.  "For everything."

And then, I fall asleep in his arms, and I feel the most whole I have felt in a long while.