One week later I sat with Freddy and Ebony in Club Weed at one of their infamous tables covered with layers of old, congealed alcohol- y'know, the kind of tables where if you leave your arm on top of it too long you won't get it back.
We each had a clipboard in front of us to which was attached a single sheet of pale pink sugar paper, on each sheet there was a list of names down the whole of one side, and small comment boxes down the other.
These were audition sheets that Ebony had put together for our search for a new bass player.
My mind wandered to thoughts of Mark, who would now be sat somewhere in Oregon with his Father's sister and her two sons. She'd come for him two days after Ricardio had died- I'd gone with Mark to the local police station after we'd called for an ambulance to take away the body. They asked him if he had any family he could stay with, Mark told them that the only relative he had that was still in America was his Aunt Charmaine, so it was arranged that she would come pick him up and take him and his sister to live with her.
I helped them pack their things and saw them off outside their old home. It was a rushed goodbye and it left me feeling empty.
Even now as I stared up at the blonde girl on stage who was strumming out the bassline to some song by The Killers I felt barely anything except contempt for the world.
She was terrible.
She kept dropping notes, she was hiding behind her hair- she was afraid of us. She was afraid of our judgement and I have no idea why. We were just a bunch of strangers who played terrible covers of lame song in a band with a dumb name.
I looked to my side and saw Freddy staring up intently at the girl, tapping out the beat of the song on his clipboard. Past him was Ebony, paying no attention at all, she was doodling on her paper and repeatedly brushing her numerous necklaces out of the way of her pencil.
I gave Freddy's arm a slight nudge, he dragged his attention away from the girl on stage.
"Yeah?"
"I need to get some air, I'll be out back." I gestured to the backstage door.
"Yeah, cool." He brushed it off and went back to gawking at the female bass player.
"Will you please tell Ebony to pay attention? This is our livelihood, we don't want any old string strummer."
"Yeah, fine."
"And you- hey!" I gave his shoulder a playful slap, he reluctantly turned to look at me. "And you, pay attention to the music. We're looking for someone to performing with, not to bang." He brushed off my last remark with a sarcastic smile and furrowed his brown as be turned back to face the stage.
I shook my head as I pushed my way through the backstage door, I walked past the lockers with my head but didn't fail to glance up at Mark's, as soon as we found a new bassist we'd have to clear all of scrawlings and doodles off of it so someone new could plaster their memories all over it.
I walked out into the alley behind Weed and leant against the soggy brick exterior of the building, I heaved a great sigh andlet head rest backwards so I was staring up at the sky. I closed my eyes for a moment just a cold, stiff breeze ran over me.
"Hey, girlie!" I opened my eyes and was instantly greeted with the image of a dark silhouette peering over the top of the opposite building.
"Hey, guy! How's tricks?"
"Not bad, ain't much goin' down so I came here. Finally been in, eh?" He gestured towards the door I'd just come out of.
"Oh. Yeah, it's alright, bit sticky." He chuckled and leant back slightly.
"So you work her now or somethin'? How come yer comin' out the back door?"
"Um... Yeah, no. I, uh, I got a job. I'm bartending."
"How old are you?"
"Old enough."
"Cause y'know if I find out that yer handling alcohol and yer a minor I'm gonna have to turn you in."
"Very funny, tin man. You wanna see my license? It's in my purse along with an envelope full of taxes and all those bills I have to take care of." I gestured inside and he laughed.
"Alright, kid, that won't be necessary."
"Splendid. Now you'll have to excuse me, I need to go pick up my kids from day care."
"It's seven at night."
"Okay, you got me, I don't have kids, but I'm only thirty, there's still time."
"Right. So you finish your shift when?"
"Uh..." I glanced over my shoulder and I ran through in my head the remaining names on my clipboard which was now probably permanently glued to the table. "Not long, like and hour or something." I shrugged and began fidding with the hem of my shirt. "Why?"
"Well, you wanna meet me back here? We can chill for a while." The corners of my mouth creased as I tried not to smile too widely.
"That'd be great, actually, yeah." There was a detectable tremor of excitement in my voice that I couldn't disguise.
"Awesome, see you at eight, Adrienne."
"See you at eight, Raphael." He. nodded and then saluted me and took off to patrol the city. I turned and made my way back inside, a huge grin plastered on my face. My whole body shook suddenly from the warmth that had quickly been reintroduced to my body.
But I won't lie, it was probably also partly because of the anticipation.
