Cracked Silver

Chapter 11

CRISTAL

My mum has been cautious of my behaviour with going out. She knows that I'm not home most of the time but she doesn't know that I've been with Jesse. She doesn't even know he exists.  

Though I've been slightly concerned about Jesse. He's been a bit off. Less responsive and a little in his own world. I hope he's okay.

JESSE

The side effects of these drugs are brutal. The only way to avoid them is to take more. Which of course, would worsen the effect when I stop taking them. I'm not continuously sniffing cocaine to stop the side effects from coming. I'm taking them because I can't stop. I can't. They give me confidence. I don't hate myself anymore. I believe in myself. It's... Amazing. 

When I ran out, I went crazy. 

The blood was pumping in my veins. 

My pulse was thumping fast. 

My heart, throwing itself heavily against my ribs. 

Desperation filled my brain. 

I run to where I'll find Brass. I run. So fast. 

My fists nearly knock down his door as I pounded it. 

The door swung open and Brass was holding a knife. 

'Bro! Chill! You scared the life out of me!' he exclaimed, lowering his blade.

'Sorry man. I just need to ask you something.' 

'yeah, yeah. Go ahead.' he mumbled, looking pissed off. 

'D'you have crystal? Dope? Anything?' I looked at him, hopeful. 

'Bro, you ok? Your eyes look red. Maybe you shouldn't have anymore. It was just a one-time thing, ok?' he reassured. He looked worried in my direction. 

'Please man, I need it. It makes me feel amazing like you said. I'm a funnier person. I'm alive. Plus, weren't you the guy who told me to take it in the first place? Do me a favour.' I smiled. 

His sigh seemed regretful as he handed me a brown back from the table beside the door. 

'No more after this. This should keep you going for a few days. Don't come back to me, okay?' he frowned.

'Thanks, man.' I was about to grab the bag but he snatched it away. 

'You're not gettin' this without cash. Sorry man but the last packet I gave you, that was just on the house because you're my friend. But this time, I need this money.'

I huffed, pulling out my wallet. I gave him 300 bucks. 'Enough?' 

He nodded, handing me the bag. 

'Use it wisely. All at once would be an avalanche of regret.' And then he closed the door.

I looked in the bag. 

3 medium packets of dope. 5 packets of clear, pure crystal. 10 tablet containers full of anonymous pills. 

I go back to my apartment. I just had the crystal and a few pills.

2 weeks later;

CRISTAL

I haven't seen Jesse in two weeks. He hasn't phoned me or messaged me in ages. I decided to phone him. 

I find my phone and find Jesse. He wasn't in my recents anymore. That made my heart sink a little. I click his name and it starts to ring.  

'Hello?' I heard Jesse. His voice sounded shaky and low. Lower than usual. 

'Jesse, are you okay? You're very quiet and I'm worried about you.' I pulled the phone closer to my ear as worry struck me. 

'I'm... fine.' he breathes heavily. I hear his nose continuously sniffing. 

'You sure you're okay? Have you got a cold? You're sniffing an awful lot.' 

'No. I just had a rough night.' he then coughs. 

'Jesse, can I come over?' I ask 

'No. I can't. I'm sorry.'

The line goes silent. 

'Jesse?' I say into the phone. 

But no reply. 

Then the call ends.  

JESSE

I pull the cigarette out my mouth and put my phone on my desk. I rub the sleep out my eyes and take a puff of my cigarette. I feel intoxicated. Trapped in smoke. My blood feels poisoned with drugs. I want to stop but I can't. When I say to myself that I'll stop, the craving comes back. Then I take more. 

Last one... I say. 

Last one...

Last...

One...

It's never true. Ever. 

I get up off the couch but lose my balance almost instantly and end up plunging to the ground, hitting my head on the glass table. Smashing it. 

My head starts throbbing with pain. My hand automatically goes to it. Then I feel this sticky thick liquid. Blood.

Great.

I felt it slowly run down past my temple, stopping above my chin.   

My vision blurs. I blink. Over and over again to rid of it but it won't clear.

Head spinning... 

Limbs collapsing... 

I feel paralyzed in every part of my body... 

I fall unconscious.