The Professor

Chapter Forty-Four

I sleep the rest of the day and stay in bed until Monday morning when it's time to go to classes. My stomach is still feeling queasy when I wake up but I play it off as best as I can so Jessica doesn't notice. What am I supposed to do? I can't keep this up forever.

I somehow manage to make it through the day with mental pep-talks every minute telling myself to hold it in. There was one time I had to rush to the bathroom in my first class when a guy brought in a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit and the smell was horrendous. As soon as the first whiff met my nostrils, I felt my stomach bubble and bile starting to rise in me so I bolted to the bathroom. I didn't get sick, luckily, but I waited a while before going back in there.

Since today is the day of my Brit Lit class, I make my way into the English building and to my classroom on the second floor. I take a deep breath and then a swig on my Sprite before making it to the stairs when i'm stopped by Collin.

"Hey," he says sheepishly with a smile. Ugh, his dimples are killing me.

"Hey..." I say. I screw the cap back on my Sprite and mess with the bottle in my hands. Why am I so nervous?

Collin's eyes skim over my body and I see a flash of concern before his gaze meets mine again. "How are you feeling?" he asks me. I can tell by the way he's looking at me he knows i'm not well. I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom before coming to Brit Lit and I look as sick as I feel. My face looks rather clammy and pale and my eyes are droopy. I'm also moving a bit awkward considering how weak and tingly I feel.

"I've been better," I say. It's the truth.

"You never returned any of my texts this weekend. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

I nod my head and give him a small smile. Poor guy. He's just being nice.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I never got back with you. To be honest, i've been feeling sick ever since you took me home and i've been sleeping most of the weekend. Just a lot going on." I say.

Collin nods his head and shoves his hands in the pockets of his Khakis. "I understand."

There's an awkward silence between us as we stand in the middle of the front entrance. I can feel the many questions we both have floating in the air and then I see Dean down the hall in the direction of my old Brit Lit class. He looks briefly at me as he passes by and pauses slightly. His eyes shift to Collin and I watch his jaw tense before he disappears back down the hall. This is the first time i've seen him since he walked away from me in the living room a few days ago.

"Well I better get to class," I say as I try to start walking away. Collin stops me.

"Wait." I turn to face him. "Are things okay? Between us?" he asks.

My mouth parts slowly. I expected our last date to be our last date given the embarrassing circumstances that surrounded it. But even if it wasn't our last date, it has to be now because of the...

"I just have a lot going on right now," I repeat. 

Collin nods his head and I can see the disappointment on his face. It hurts me to hurt him. I really did like Collin and I was excited to see where things would lead with us. Obviously life decided to throw me in another direction.

"That's fine," he says, trying to not seem wounded. "I'll see you later."

And with that, Collin walks away into the direction of the other man in my life I need to speak with.

* * * * * 

The whole fifty minutes of my Brit Lit class were spent of me daydreaming and playing out different scenarios in my head. Scenarios like when and how am I going to tell my parents about the baby, what are they going to say, what's going to happen with my school, how will things come out with me and Dean, and finally: how am I going to take care of a baby.