The Professor

Part 2 - Chapter Fifty-Five

The next day after Collin's confession, we decide to have a study date in the library. Both of our Brit Lit classes have papers due  within the next week so we decided to work on them with coffee and each other's company. The library is crowded and finding a table on the third floor was almost impossible until Collin spotted one tucked in the corner. A blonde girl was slinging her book bag over her shoulder and walking away when Collin ran up and snatched it.

We're sitting across from each other and he keeps looking at me out of the corner of my eye. Knowing that he's eyeing me makes my stomach turn. I pretend I don't see him but the sensation of his eyes on me is impossible to ignore. His eyes are gorgeous. The paper that i'm working on, though, has most of my attention.

It's a creative paper where I get to choose a book or play we've read so far in class and extend the ending. I chose the Shakespeare play Much Ado About Nothing and use the characters of Beatrice and Benedick. I have to research background information on why the two characters have a feud with each other--since it's obvious something went on in the past with them--and create my own play or story.

I search Stanford's library database for a book in the library that might could help provide me with more information. I find one that's located on the second floor and tell Collin i'll be back in a second.

I hop out of my seat and start walking down the isle of shelves to find the one with the number I'm repeating in my head. I can feel Collin's gaze on me burning my back as I walk away and I stand a little straighter, appreciating the appreciation he is showing for me.

I find the isle I need and walk midway as I begin searching for the specific book. I find and I pull it out with my fingers when it falls out of my hand. My body is being yanked away from the spot i'm standing in and it's such a swift movement, I can't scream. Only gasp.

A firm hand wraps around my upper arm, keeping me in place. When I can focus what's happening, I see Dean. My stomach drops. The instant urge I have to vomit makes it's way up my throat and I try to jerk myself out of his hold. I have to get away from him.

"Claire, stop it," he whispers sternly through his teeth.

I don't listen and keep shaking violently for him to release me.

"This is the school library. Do you not see how crowded it is?" I whisper back just as stern.

Dean's mouth is pressed in a hard line and he sighs, frustration clear on his voice. "If I let you go, promise me you won't run."

As much as i'd love to get away from him and permanently push him and it out of my mind, I do as he asks and nod my head. He releases me slowly, watching me to see if I decide to dart and run. 

"What do you want?" I fold my arms across my chest. For some reason, I can't look him in the eye.

He doesn't let a second go by unanswered.

"A month passes after everything that's happened and you're back with him?"

The accusatory tone of his voice makes my blood start to boil. Is he calling me a whore?

I narrow my eyes at him spitefully. I'm not so sure if what I feel for him right now is hatred or not. I think it is.

"What I do or who i'm with is none of your business."

Dean nods his head violently. "Oh yes it is. Especially when you won't return my calls or texts. Claire, we have to talk about this."

I shake my head. "No we don't. It's done and over with and I'd like nothing more than to forget about it."

"Claire--"

"I'm leaving Stanford." I spit the information out fast.

Dean's mouth parts open and he stares at me blankly. It's as if all the light has drained from his face. A part of me feels hurt to see his sadness while the other part spitefully enjoys it.

"What do you mean you're leaving Stanford?"

"I mean what it means. I applied to other schools and I got in. I'm leaving next semester." 

Dean starts to chew on his bottom lip and he looks down at his feet, shielding himself away from me. Seeing the sadness and hopelessness on him is tearing me apart. 

But i'm already torn apart.

He looks up at me and I can see the swelling of tears in his eyes that he's careful not to let fall.

"Please don't do this, Claire." It comes out in a desperate whisper, causing me to form my own tears.

I open my mouth to say something next but i'm startled once I hear Collin's voice behind me.

"There you are. I thought you got lost or something. Oh, Professor Underwood. Hey..." his voice trails off and he looks puzzlingly between Dean and I.

I can feel the curiosity swarming in his brain and once again I search for the words to say. Thankfully Dean saves the moment.

"Hey, Collin. I saw Claire here in aisle looking for a book. Thought i'd say hello."

Collin folds his arms across his chest. "Didn't you switch her to a different class though?"

My eyes widen.

Dean is quick with the comeback.

"I did. All per request of her advisor."

I can tell by Collin's face that he's not buying it. "Mhm."

Dean gives Collin a subtle smirk before looking over at me.

"Good luck with your paper, Claire." His eyes glance back to Collin with a hardness to them. "Collin."

Collin says nothing.

The two men size each other up with their glances before Dean decides to leave.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding once Dean is gone. I can feel Collin's eyes on me and I avoid them as long as possible.

Reaching down for the book my intentions were to grab, Collin says, "That was odd."

"What was?" I play dumb and keep my back to him. I skim the pages of the book to look like i'm making sure it's the one I need.

"That. Him looking at you like... like he likes you. You didn't feel that vibe from him?"

"No," I say with a disgust to play it off. "That would be gross. He was my professor." And almost the father of my child...

Collin sighs. "Whatever. Maybe it's just me then. Is that the right book?"

I turn around and smile. "Yes it is."

"Good. Now you can help me find mine." 

Collin cups my face with his hands and plant a gentle kiss on my lips. After the brief encounter that just happened, the kiss makes my stomach turn. 

And not in a good way.

I put a smile on my face for when Collin opens his eyes. He smiles at me and lightly presses his forehead against mine.

"I love spending time with you," he says in a whisper.

I smile to keep up the appearance. "I... love spending time with you too."

"C'mon. My book is on the last row."

Collin grabs my hand and leads me down the rows of books before we start to search for the one he needs.

For some reason, I can't get the pit in my stomach to go away.