The Professor

Part 2 - Chapter Fifty-Four

Convincing my mother to let me transfer from Stanford was a whole lot easier than I thought it would be. Figuring out where to go next was the hard part. 

Transferring out of Stanford wass something I hadn't thought about until my mother started asking me if I was happy and enjoying it. Realizing that it's actually been the worst experience of my life so far, it only seems like the best idea to leave. It's ironic and comical to me since this was my "dream" but I guess that's the thing about dreams. They seem nice in another life.

My next week is spent looking at other schools I might be interested in attending next. I start looking for schools all over the place like Seattle, New York, southern Florida, and Boston. All places i've wanted to visit and are far away from California. I narrow it down between two schools: Seattle Pacific University and Boston University. Once I have them narrowed down, I start the application process.

The door to the bedroom opens and Jessica walks in. Her eyes scan my computer screen and I watch her narrowed eyes widen slowly in realization at my application page. "You're leaving?" She asks in bewilderment. It's my turn to be a bitch.

"Why do you care?" I say with a roll of my eyes and turn back around in my seat. Thankfully I won't have to deal with her anymore in another three months. 

"Claire, this is a big move. Why are you leaving?" Her voice gets louder the closer she walks to me and sits on her bed. I keep my focus on my computer screen.

"I just... This place wasn't what I thought it would be. I need to leave."

"You came to that conclusion halfway through the first semester?"

I turn to look at her at her words. I can't tell if it's the caring tone of her voice or words itself that got my attention.

Jessica pushes her blonde hair behind her shoulder and sighs. "Look, Claire, I need to apologize to you. I know things have been... awkward between us now and that's my fault. I got a little jealous watching you and Collin grow closer and finding out he liked you... I don't know. It just hurt me a little."

I look at Jessica and see the sincerity in her face. It's confirmation of everything I already knew from the way she felt about Collin and me but hearing her admit it is another thing. I sigh and shift in my seat to face her. 

"Thank you for your apology. But this isn't about us or Collin."

Her eyebrows scrunch together and she shifts on the bed. "Then what is it?"

"I just... I don't think this is the right place for me." If you only knew. 

"It's the first semester, Claire. It's not even halfway over yet and you're already wanting to give up?"

I close my computer screen and gather it in my arms. I've had enough of this. My nerves are starting to raise.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

I slip on my sandals and open the door.

"To finish my transfer applications."

Once I finally make it out of Jessica's sudden and unusual questioning and trying to get me to stay, I finish my applications in the study lounge downstairs on the main floor. I'm the only one in the room and for the decent size it is, I feel lonely. I finish the applications and figure a few of my math problems for homework before my mind starts to drift to other things. Other things like Dean and the... you know. It's weird to say the 'b' word now.

For some reason, my mind also drifts to Camilla and the many questions I have about her past with Dean. It's hard to think about him now after what happened but also thinking of him having a relationship with her--considering how gorgeous she was--causes my stomach to drop, forming a pit.

There was so many things I used to wonder about Dean and still do. Seeing his missed calls and texts hurts the more he reaches out. I know this is best for me. I should have stayed away in the begging. Only now it's catching up to me.

I gather my laptop in my arms and stack my planner and notebook on top of it. The door to the lounge opens and I look up to see Collin. My heart practically skips a beat but not in a desiring way. I'm speechless as to why he's here in the dorm on campus and the way he's looking at me with a careful expression makes me wonder if he's here on purpose.

"Hey," I say awkwardly, unsure of what to say to him now.

The door closes behind him and he put his hands in the pockets of his khakis. He looks nervous.

"Hi."

There's a big gap of space between us as I keep my position at the table and the awkward silence that now fills the air starts to make the spacious room feel small. 

"What are you doing here on campus... in the dorm?" I add the last part in last minute.

Collin shrugs his shoulders and clears his throat. "Jessica told me you were, uh... thinking about leaving." 

I nod my head slowly. "Just finished the applications. Actually."

A hint of a frown forms on Collin's lips and he takes a step closer. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "What is it with you and Jessica and you two's sudden interest in where I go to school?" My voice is slightly raised.

Collin doesn't look phased.

"We don't want you to make a mistake, Claire."

I scoff. As if Jessica would care.

"I need to leave."

I start to walk by Collin but he presses the door shut with his hand. We're now inches away from each other and the smell of his pine cologne feels my nose. I can feel his breath on my neck and while this is the closest i've been to a man in weeks, nothing happens. Nothing.

Collin slowly back away to leave room in between us and I watch him and he nervously peers at the door.

"Look," he says lowly, still not meeting my eyes. "I know we... had something. But I really liked you, Claire. I don't know what happened on our last date but I wanted to see where it could go. I don't... I couldn't let you make the decision to leave before telling you that but I guess it's too late."

My heart breaks at the vulnerability I see on his face. He's right. We did have something, something I was partially excited about too but let other distractions get in the way. Collin has always treated me nicely and made his interest in me known but I was the one who did him wrong and went MIA. I'm the one that owes him another shot and maybe taking another chance on Collin is exactly what i'll need to get over the heartache that is Dean Underwood.

"If you don't feel the same it's cool. I just wanted to tell you before the chance slipped away."

I open my mouth to speak at the same time my phone in my hand vibrates. I look down at the screen and my stomach drops when I see it's a text from Dean.

Dean: Claire, please talk to me. I miss you.

I read the text twice before closing the screen and looking up at Collin.

"I feel the same way," I say with a smile.