Aarmau Fanfic ~Will I ever find love?~ (COMPLETE)

I will one day..

~Aphmau's POV~

   I hear Aaron start knocking on the door. It was a gentle knock. In all honesty that scared me more than it should have because you would think a loud, hard knock would be scary. I heard him say my nickname very softly.

   You could then hear him start grabbing the key that I always keep on the little white part above the door. My frightenedness kicked in and I stood up, which hurt, and kept my fingers latched around the lock to keep it in place. I didn't want him to come in. Especially me being naked.

   I could make an excuse that I was in the shower, but I don't know how I would explain my limp to him. I hear him put the lock into the door and start to jiggle it around to unlock it. Since my fingers are still latched to it, it doesn't work.

   "Aph please open the door. I don't know what happened last night, but I'm scared that I hurt you due to you holding the door to where I can't unlock it. Please can we talk about this."

  I didn't want to talk about it. I felt tears start to fall down my face and I prayed that my sniffles couldn't be heard, but sadly my prayers weren't answered.

  "Aph please! Now I know I did something. I'm so sorry for whatever I did. Please let me in so I can just... Hold you." I could tell he was crying while he said that. What if he is acting? What if he is trying to get on my good side so he can hurt me again?

    These questions and thoughts ran through my head. Aaron must have read my mind because he then replied with something that most people would call "comforting".

   "Aphmau I swear on my life I will not hurt you. If you come out I will keep my distance with you. I will stand however much space you want from you to me. I promise I won't lay a finger on you. I promise I will never drink again as long as it will keep you happy. Please Aph... I love you."

  I didn't know how to react with those words. I want to be able to trust him. I want to come out there and hug him. But after last night I'm scared to even come close to him.

  "F-fine Aaron. I-ill come out. J-just p-please don't get angry." I don't want to make him upset with me. "Aph, I would never be angry with you." he responds. I put a towel around me and open the door.

   The first sight I see is Aaron crouched down looking up at me with a tear stained face. I will out a little farther and nearly fall down. He stays where he is at, respecting my wishes of him staying a little ways away from me.

  "Aphmau, please tell me what happened last night. I want to know how I can solve this between us."

  How could he solve this? I'm traumatized and all I can think about is what Ein did to me. I guess I should explain what happened. Maybe he could find a way, but I know I can't.

   "I guess ill put it as simple as possible because I really don't want to go into a lot of detail. Well Aaron, last night we went to the club. You ended up getting very drunk. I-I asked if we could leave and you said after you drank 3 more shots. I-I a-agreed but only because I really wanted to leave. After that I pulled you out and buckled you up in the passenger seat as I drove. Y-you s-started to touch me and when I tried to stop you you slapped my thigh really h-hard. I didn't want to anger you anymore, so I allowed you to do your thing. We got home and you forcefully made out with me. You had grabbed my wrist and forced me against the wall. I still have the wrist marks. I tried to get you to stop after you tried to force your tongue into my mouth, but y-you s-slapped me. I was so shocked I had no clue what to do. At this point I was having flashbacks of Ein so I didn't know how to respond. You carried me upstairs and t-threw me onto the bed and started to undress me and yourself. I s-screamed and c-cried but no one heard. I think this only encouraged your drunk self. You tried to take off my bra which made me cry even more which made you start to yell so I shut up. Y-you s-started to m-make "love" bites on me. Y-you t-then k-kissed me from my neck down to my u-underwear and removed them. T-then you... You..." I was crying too much at this point to carry on talking. I was sitting on the floor curled up in a ball, laying in craddled position sideways.

   "Y-you f-forced yourself into m-me. I then had so many flashbacks and was in too much shock to move. You finished and turned away from me and fell asleep. I ran into the bathroom and broke the mirror and lost blood and that's the last thing I remember before passing out."

  I kept my head hanging low in fear that I had made him angry. But the next thing I knew I had someone holding onto me so tightly I thought I was going to explode. Aaron was there holding me and rubbing my hair in a calming manner.

"Aph I'm so sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me."

  "I will one day... It might not be today or this week... But one day.. I still love you. Im just scared"