With You┃Dylan O'Brien ⓵

Chapter Eleven : Remain Unspoken

You ever have those moments where you're so lost in your own thoughts where, for a while, you forget about everything else?

That's what happens to me after Dylan and I kiss. It's one kiss, simple and clean, lips on lips, mouths closed. We pull away in slow, careful movements with our heads still tilted to the side. I stare into his eyes as he stares into mine, and that's when I get lost in my thoughts.

It occurs to me that it is painfully obvious how much we both like each other, but we never speak about it. Maybe that's exactly why we never speak about it: because it was obvious. I feel like I would be crossing some sort of line if I ever came out and said, "Hey, Dylan, I really really like you." Like the feelings we have for each other are meant to remain unspoken.

So why is it that I forbid myself from telling him how much I like him, but I so easily let myself show him? Actions speak louder than words, they say, and I guess I wanted to get my point across.

I'm not sure how long we've been sitting in this silence, but after what feels like forever, I look away from the boy in front of me and at the floor of the car instead.

I mumble, "I'm sorry." and promptly start the car because I can't stand to be so close to him and in silence after what just happened. I feel like I've just ruined it all, everything. Why why why did I let my hormones get the best of me?

We pull out of the parking lot and we're driving back on the road. Neither of us is saying anything, and no music is playing. The only sound is that of the car's engine and whatever other noises it makes. I feel like I'm gonna explode from embarrassment.

At a red light, Dylan suddenly speaks, "Have you ever seen Meet the Parents?"

I shake my head.

"Wait, seriously?"

I wonder how he's suddenly acting so casual, shaking my head again.

"Wow," he breathes. "I can't believe I have a crush on a girl who's never seen such a classic."

Oooookaaaaay. Either he doesn't realize that he used the word crush, or he doesn't care that he said it out loud.

"Crush?", I ask as the light turns green.

"I thought that was obvious," he says, now sounding somewhat worried. "And I don't think I would have kissed you if I only liked you as a friend."

I feel approximately a million times better now, "Can I spend the night at your house?"

He somewhat smirks, "Will we watch Meet the Parents?"

"Will you cuddle with me?"

"Will you apologize when we kiss again?"

For some reason, those words make the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. Like he plans for us to kiss again? Okay okay okay. Why am I freaking out so much about this? He seems so incredibly casual about it, therefore I need to be, also.

"Does that mean you want to kiss me again?", I ask him in the most casual voice I can currently manage.

"Usually when crushing on someone, you would like to kiss them as much as humanly possible."

"Dylan, why do you have to be crushing on me?"

"Because I like you. But I don't want you to be my girlfriend yet."

Yet. "Should I be offended by that?"

"No!", he suddenly looks worried that he might have offended me. "It's just that I've come to like you so extensively in just a month, right? But I want to get to know you better. I don't want us to... date, just to have it ruined."