"Parting Ways"- A Boy Meets World Fan Fiction

13

Sprawled across my bed, I could feel myself drifting off. Tired as I am, I refuse sleep.

It's just after noon. A nap sounds amazing, but I'm afraid of what's to come. Especially with last night's dream still knawing at my mind.

I stare at the high ceiling. I can't reach it, not even on my toes. I tried eariler.

It's so far away, the ceiling is. It bothers me. Makes me feel small.

Just small, though, not tiny. Tiny was standing on the balcony, overlooking the city; So small. Would anyone even notice if I dissapeared?

Certainly not.

I close my eyes and shake my head.

Somebody would.

Right?

***

I have three days to get familiar with my neighborhood before I start work, but I can't find the motivation to go anywhere.

I made it to the post office after my meeting with Jen to mail my letter to my people back home. But that's about all my energy for the day.

My eyes are heavy. So I let them win. They close... I drift off just a little bit.

And then there's a knock at the door.

Oh my gosh.

I get up and run my hand through my hair as I make my way to the door and undo the lock, opening the door that moves swiftly on its hinges.

"What?" I asked with a yawn.

"Well good morning sleepy head." Meg stated as she invited herself in and closed the door behind her.

"I brought you a welcome-to-LA-I-hope-you'll-be-my-friend present!" She handed me a Target bag. "Specially wrapped, just for you."

At this point, I'm still adjusting to this whole "awake" thing.

"Thanks" was all I could mutter.

"You're very welcome." Meghan jumps a little to seat herself on a stool at the counter. "Did you seriously just now wake up?" She asked with a giggle. "You look like a zombie."

"Thanks." I retorted sarcastically, then I decided to answer her question. "No, I wasn't asleep, almost there, but not quite."

"Oh. Sorry to butt in, maybe I should leave so you can get back to your beauty rest. You sure need it." Meghan laughed, but then she covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean that!"

I let myself laugh a little. "Don't worry about it." I tell her. "You're probably right."

"Open your present!" She exclaimed.

I open my present.

"Do you like it?" She asks

I examine a leatherbound journal. Sort of like the one I had in the airport. But this one is larger, much less worn, and very blank.

"It's for you to document your experience here. Since you like to write." I could see Meg's smile in my peripheral vision as I flipped through the pages. "At least I think I you do;" she continued on. "Every time I see you write something you cry." She gasped "Oh no! Did I get you a mean present?"

"No, you didn't. Thank you."

Meghan and I talked for a little while longer. Well, Meghan talked. I listened. She sure has a lot to say, but with that smile and enthusiasm, she'd be hard to tell to shut up.

She kind of reminds me of Cory, with her kind smile and bright eyes. Her eagerness to be my friend.

"Are you sure I'm not bothering you?" She asked- for the fifth time, I might add- after a little while.

"Not at all." I assured her. I'm tired, not bothered.

"Okay!" She exclaimed. "Well in that case, there was this one time that my friend Jon and I were going rollerskating..."

I tuned out.

I'm sorry Meghan...

My mind wandered. I remembered a time that Cory, Topanga and I went ice skating, and poor Cory couldn't stay on his feet. So he skated around with one hand on my shoulder and one hand holding Topanga's hand. It was fun regardless though.

"...And then," I tuned back in. "I fell right on my butt, and when Jon tried to help me up, he fell too, and we just kept falling over as we tried to help each other up. I ended up with a nasty bruise on my knee, but it was a blast!"

I yawned.

"Oh shoot, I'm boring you, aren't I?" Meghan asks.

"No really," I spoke through another yawn. "You're not." I tried to assure her.

She crossed her arms. "You're not very convincing."

"You woke me up from my nap."

"You said you weren't sleeping."

"I wasn't."

"Then..." Meg looked up at the ceiling as if to channel her thoughts "..how did I wake you up?"

"Nevermind." I said.

"Do you want me to leave now?" She asked.

"No... no you're fine. Make yourself at home." I told her. She might as well feel at home here. I don't. "I'm going to bed."

I tossed the journal she got me on the counter. I really don't feel like documenting my life here. It's been miserable and I've only spent one night here.

I kind of wanted to cry.

No, Shawn, I told myself. You're fine.

"Bye" I told Meg as I walked back to my room and closed myself behind the door. I didn't care if she left or not, as long as she left me alone.

***

"Suck it up, boy, you'll be better before you're married."

When I was little, that's what my dad would tell me when I would get hurt.

Skin my knee

"You'll be better before you're married."

Mom and Dad split up.

"Suck it up."

I really didn't have much of a choice. Because of that, I now view crying as a weakness. I'm not supposed to cry. I'm strong.

I sat at the end of the bed.

I'm not supposed to cry... I'm strong.

"Suck it up, Boy." I muttered under my breath.

I laid back on the bed and my tears just started flowing. There was no stopping them.

I'm not strong.

I'm weak.