Hush

Innocent until proven guilty

I am guilty
Of crime committed against my fellow man
I have betrayed
The ones I hold dear
As I reached out
I pulled you under
You picked yourself back up
And stared back at me
Pain evident in your eyes
Oh god please understand
I didn't mean to hurt you
I was drowning
There were allegations against You
Of treason
Of Betrayal
Of Murder
I was drowning
Choking on the water on the words that were spat towards me
The words of your betrayal
Of your dishonesty
And god you're an idiot
The allegations
Were half true
I drowned
But there is comfort in the  bottom of a swimming pool
So I will sit here
Drowning in sorrow
Guilt
Pain
You say there's no reason to apologize
I merely just compared you to the one who's hurt me most
But
Love don't you see they were words of hate
They were untrue
You are no monster
You are the bed I hold sanctuary in
You are the pillow wet with my spilling tears
The bed that held me
in
comfort
and
warmth
But god you idiot
How can you say it's okay
When I have committed the worst crime
Betrayal
Yet

I see you leaving
I see you drift away from me
I've been drifting
But
I remember
You are better
I have fixed you
I have solved all your problems
You are happy

And the happy
Don't discuss the depressed
As I've learned so many times before
I was naive
To think this would be different

But can't  you see
I was angry
because
you've committed mass murder
Against yourself
You're running back
to the things that hurt you
And you will shatter
And as I pick up the pieces
I will cut my hands
If only it would fix you

I am sorry
I have hurt you
And failed you
But darling
Please
Don't leave
But
if you must
Please be careful
The real world will break your fragile heart