White Knight [Editing]

4.

**SA TRIGGER WARNING**

"And then?"

"Then, he shot her. It hurt me like crazy but it was like instinctual, I knew I had to take care of my sisters as my own," I said lowly.

He picked up my chin and gently kissed my lips.

"You sound amazing to me. I bet those girls love you," he said before standing up.

He started getting dressed as I sat there. Admittedly, I'm pretty sad he was leaving now. The last three hours we spent talking and it was a much needed break from reality. I felt so calm.

"When will I see you again?" I asked now dressing myself, not that there was much to put back on.

He looked at me before pulling out a twenty dollar bill. "This time, call me," he said. By the time I took it, put his number in my phone, and looked back up, he was gone.

I woke up in my bed. Before tackling my hygiene, I decided to text Bryan. Just a simple good morning text,  nothing crazy. After my hygiene routing, I headed downstairs to make the girls breakfast. Pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon.

"Good morning, Mom," Monroe said dragging herself, sounding very groggy. I felt her forehead for a fever. She felt fine but she looked horrible.

"Are you okay? Not to be rude or anything, love, but you look like a piece of shit," I said taking a seat next to her by the kitchen island.

She gave me a side eye and made a sly comment under her breath. "Excuse me?"

"I said I–"

She grabbed her mouth quickly. I watched as she ran to the bathroom and vomited her guts out.

My only thought was 'what the fuck.' The girls rarely get sick. We're big on vitamins and self care.

I sat by her in the bathroom and tied her hair up. "Roe.." She sat down and looked at me. "Roe, what's the matter, babe? Please tell me anything besides what I'm thinking," I sighed. She looked away from me and went silent for a few minutes.

"I don't know."

I felt anger take over my body and the words that left my mouth were beyond my control. I felt disappointed in me and in her. I couldn't even process what came out my mouth before she ran out the bathroom in tears.

I put my head down in my knees after hearing her slam her bedroom door. I went to get my phone and call Rhonda. Times like this I wish they had two parents.

"Rhon. I need you over here, now. It's about Roe," I said. I must've came across alarmingly because she started asking what's wrong franticly. "Please," I pleaded. She promised she'd be there in a few minutes.

I could not even believe she would go out and have sex at the age of 14. She just started high school. She's never been the one to act out and she doesn't even have a boyfriend! They tell me everything, why wouldn't she tell me this? She barely has titties!

As I paced back and forth, I heard the doorbell. "Mom!" Jet shouted from her room. "I got it, Jet. Thank you."

I rushed to the door and embraced Rhonda. "Rhon, I don't even know. She looked sick, then she threw up. She isn't running a fever. The only thing I could think of is pregnancy! I asked her— well, I yelled too, but I asked and she didn't an–"

"Chile, shut the hell up. Damn," Rhonda said with a weirded out look on her face. "Your issue is you talk to damn much. Go do something."

She made her way up the stairs and to Monroe's room. "Baby, it's G-Ma. Open the door." The door creaked open and Rhon slipped inside before closing it back.

I mumbled to myself and tried to collect my thoughts. Just as I realized how much of an asshole I was, my phone rung snapping me out my thoughts. It was not perfect timing, but Bryan called me.

"Hey."

"Hey shorty. You ok? What ya' doing?"

"You do not wanna know. Parental faux pas."

"Throw it at me, maybe I'll teach you a lil' something."

"Doubt it," I snarked.

"You also doubted that we would've vibed. We did."

I felt my cheeks get warm as a smile came across my face."Fine, my oldest daughter is having a scare."

"A scare? Like..." I heard him sigh through the phone followed by a long silence. "A'ight, you got me beat."

"She's got me beat," I admitted with a defeated chuckle.

"Hey, don't beat yourself down. You doing ya' best. I'll call you later, though. Just breathe," he said.

We said our goodbyes and I plopped on the couch. I feel beat. I am not ready to become a grandma at 21. Monroe is literally the sweetest thing on the planet and I can't imagine what was going through her mind when she thought having sex was okay at her age.

I feel like I've failed my mother. If Monroe is in fact pregnant, my mother died, leaving the wrong person in charge of her children.

"Tone. Come here, please."

I dashed upstairs as soon as Rhonda called me and walked in Monroe's room. Monroe was laying on the bed facing the wall and Rhonda was sitting at the foot of her bed.

I mouth to Rhonda, "Is she pregnant?"

"She's scared," she mouthed back.

What?

Rhonda got up and pulled me into the hallway. "Toni, she said she doesn't know because she didn't want to."

I made up my face. "What... what does that mean?"

"I think she was raped, T," she said looking down.

I felt my heart sink to my toes. I was hoping I heard her wrong so I laughed her off. "Stop joking, Rhon," I laughed.

Rhonda had the straightest face I've ever seen, telling me it was true or at least according to Monroe's description.

I left Rhonda in the hallway and kneeled beside Monroe's bed and begged her to look at me.

"Baby, I am so sorry. Why... why didn't you tell me? I am here to help you. I would've killed him. I wouldve done anything for you," I cried. "Please say something." I saw tears building up in her eyes.

"I thought you'd be disappointed in me," She said finally breaking down. I got in the bed and wrapped her in arms whilst crying still. We were both crying and I felt so responsible for everything. Her feelings being hurt. The situation that happened.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. And that is never going to stop, little girl. Ever. This was in no way shape or form your fault," I told her.

She nodded her head and looked up at me. "It is," She cried, "I should've said no, but I was scared."
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