That goddamned thing

Chapter 7

I love to sleep late on weekends but by habit my eyes always flutter open in the early hours of the morning. I look at the wall clock and it says half past seven. On normal weekends, I would have stayed in bed for a while thinking about just anything but this weekend is not normal. I can sense that something is brewing – that something is going to happen. I am not sure whether the feeling is good or bad.

I get out of my bed and go to the bathroom. I decide not to take a shower because I am too lazy for it; I just brush my teeth and go back to my room to dress. My knees are almost healed but the scratches are still visible so I decide to wear jeans once again. I wear a simple gray shirt and black jeans. I tie my hair in a neat ponytail and go out of the room.

The smell of fresh bacon touches my nose and I know that Alexander is already up to something. I go to the kitchen and find him making breakfast.

“Good morning.” I say filling a glass of water and leaning against the counter.

“Oh hey. Good morning.” He says turning around, the features of his face as relaxed as always. I notice his overgrown facial hair for the first time. It must have been days since he last shaved.

I ask him about his night and he says that it was grand, so we just sit down on the table from across each other and start to eat. He is just looking down at his food and eating it, a little crease on his otherwise relaxed forehead. I wonder what he is thinking about. I weigh my choice of telling him about the pattern then and there and I almost make up my mind to do so but just then he looks up and catches me staring at him. I suddenly feel my heart beating like a drum in my chest. I quickly look away and he smiles.

“Well, aren’t you hungry?” He says. “Or am I a very bad cook?”

I look down at my plate; I have hardly touched my food. I am ravenous but I have so many other things on my mind that I just don’t feel like eating at the moment. I pick up a piece of bread and start toasting it with butter.

“Are you upset about anything?” He asks after a while.

I shake my head. “I am just not in the mood.” I lie. He just nods but from the look on his face, I know that he is not convinced.

I finish the toast and take a bite of bacon when he asks, “So what are the plans for today?”

I gulp down the bacon and say, “We go for shopping to the supermarket to buy some new clothes for you and anything else you might need. Also we are running short on grocery so we will get some of that as well.” I say it all very simply and dully, I just cannot pretend that I am not scared anymore. He stares away from me at the window.

I finish my breakfast, pick up my plate and get up. I put the plate in the sink and without saying anything I leave the kitchen and go into the living room. I start to clean up the living room, picking up some of the crayons Dora left and a lot of spare pages. I turn around to chuck the pages in the dustbin by the door and notice Alexander standing at the door.

“Is it something I did?” He says.

I don’t want to tell him about it. I don’t want to discuss it. I am way too scared to even say it out aloud.

“What do you mean by it?” I say, turning away and rearranging the sofa cushions.

“What is bothering you? You know you can tell me.”

“At the moment all that is bothering me is you.” It comes out harsher than I mean. I quickly look at him and he is looking down at his hands.

I take a deep breath and say, “Please Alex, I don’t want to discuss anything at the moment. I am just not in the mood.”