That goddamned thing

Chapter 8

A soft humming voice touches my ears. It is comforting at first but as I come to my senses and open my eyes slowly, it starts to annoy me. I see a white ceiling which is unfamiliar to me. I stare at it trying to think of where I might be. I look sideways and all I can see is some kind of machine placed beside me. I am in a soft bed with white sheets and all I can think of is that I must be in a hospital. I try to lift my head to have a better look but it is as heavy as lead and when I try very hard and finally lift it an inch, pain sears from the top of my head to my whole body and I let my head hit the pillow again letting out a sigh. So instead, I try to remember why I am here and it all comes to me in pieces. The last thing I can remember is Alex getting punched.

The whole scene flashes in front of my eyes and I am not able to contain it anymore. Where is he? If I am in a hospital then what happened to him? What happened after I blacked out? I try to call out his name but only a croak leaves my mouth. Just then someone enters the room. I jerk my head towards the door and see a young nurse carrying a tray, coming towards me. She smiles politely at me and checks my pulse.

I close my eyes and try to summon all the energy from my body so that I can voice my thoughts. “Where is he? Where is Alex?” I say almost mutely but with power.

She looks at me and then turns toward the machine beside me. “I am not allowed to say anything. Now let’s get you dressed, the police will be here in a while to ask a few questions.”

The police. Why are the police involved? What do they want to ask me? Why couldn’t they ask Alex? I see flashes of Alex being kicked and punched by the two men.  A pestilent ache hits my heart making my head throb worse than ever. It’s my fault; I should have run when he told me to. Whatever happened to him is my fault. The nurse helps me to sit up straight and before helping me get dressed, she inserts a syringe in my arm and suddenly I feel warmth spreading in my body. Whatever she inserted in my arm helps my body go a little immune to the pain. I don’t ask her anymore questions because she said it with such finality and because I don’t want to waste anymore energy by pressing her to tell me. I want to save the energy for the police.

The door opens again and I see two police officers come inside along with my mother and father.

“Mum.” I whisper.

She runs towards me and hugs me. “Cara.” She says, pulling away and holding my face in her hands. “I was so worried. Oh thanks goodness you are alright.” Her eyes are swollen and it is clear that she has been crying a lot. She hugs me again. My dad pats my shoulder half-hugging me.

I am happy to see them but I don’t like the mixed expressions on their faces. They seem like they just had a row with someone. Maybe it’s because they almost lost me but I am not sure if it is just that.

One of the policemen clears his throat and my dad pulls my mom away from me, helping her stand steady who is still sobbing softly.

The second policeman takes a step towards me and says, “I hope you are feeling well now, Ms. Gaspar.”

I nod lightly. “I am Johnson and I will be inquiring your case. Can you please tell us whatever you remember that happened before you blacked out?”

I could tell them about everything but I don’t want to. I want to know where Alex is. What did he tell them? I don’t want our stories to contradict. So, I say, “Where is Alex?”

Before the policeman answers, my mum steps forward and puts her hand on my shoulder, “Cara, you must understand…” I don’t let her finish the sentence and start to sob loudly. I want to scream at the top of my lungs but I don’t have the energy to do so. His face flashes in front of my eyes and I feel all the cells in my body collapsing. I will never be able to forgive myself.