That goddamned thing

Chapter 19

The world has fallen apart. No, this cannot be fixed. What can I do? What should I do? I vulnerably look around but judging by the empty streets, it is past midnight. I have no money, not a phone and I am in a foreign land, not to mention that I am worst at healing stuff. I can't even tell if he is alive. "You won't make a good doctor" I recall Alex saying to me and fresh tears fall out of my eyes.

"Oh Alex." I whisper leaning against him, my right cheek against his left. "Open your eyes. Say something. Please." I plead.

Just then I feel something and my heart leaps to my throat. His breath. My inwards scream. He is alive. I put my fingers under his nose and sure enough he is breathing almost steadily. It feels like an inner doctor wakes up in me. I feel his heartbeat and his pulse and yes everything is normal but then why is he not opening his eyes? His shirt is covered in blood. I move toward him and look for the source of blood. It's his shoulder. I turn on the small light of the minivan and see the wound clearly. I quickly unbutton his shirt and remove it from his shoulder feeling his heartbeat all the time.

I keep on whispering his name, wishing he would just once open his eyes but apparently that is too much to ask for. The blood is still gushing out of his shoulder but with much less frequency. I touch the wound lightly and realize that it is not deep. The bullet didn't get in his shoulder. It just chipped past it. I feel relieved and start to think quickly. I have to make the blood stop. What will I need? Water, definitely water. And a piece of cloth. I search the van and sure enough there is a bottle of water in the dashboard.

I take off my cardigan but the material is too rough to be touched to the wound so I take off the cotton shirt and quickly wear the cardigan again. I tear the shirt in half with the help of a blade I find in the dashboard. With one half, I clean his wound slowly, checking every second for Alex's breath. It is steady. When the wound is clean, I see that it is really a small area burnt due to the fast moving bullet but the loss of blood has made him unconscious.

I wrap the other piece of cloth carefully around his shoulder. Thankfully he has stopped bleeding. I sigh and look at him. He is all pale but still breathing. I guess that is enough for me at the moment. I look around and realize that we didn't come very far away from Alex's dad's house. Panic overtakes again as I think of them following us. But where to go? I don't even know where we are. I look at Alex. He has his head against the seat looking peaceful. I am aching for him to open his eyes – to say something. But he is alive and that is enough for me to get going. His soft lips give me a new hope. The blood in my veins starts to move as if it was stuck. I pull away from him and strap the seatbelt around him, buckling it. I turn to look at the road and start the car. We have to move. I have to keep Alex safe.

For half an hour I keep on moving, taking turns here and there in alleys and on small roads, trying to keep off the highway. The roads are completely empty except for an occasional car here and there. I don't ask for anyone's help. I am too scared to do that. I keep glancing at Alex and he is just looking as peaceful as ever. A train of thought, as usual starts in my mind. Meeting him – our first encounter. I almost laugh at how I thought of killing him right there. And then the trust building slowly –his first hug – his first kiss. "I love you, Alex." I whisper more to myself than to him.

The roads are abandoned as if there has been a zombie apocalypse. I turn into a narrow alley and stop the van. I have been going around a strange city without any sense of direction and I don't want to do it anymore. Hopefully, I have put enough distance between those men and Alex. Thinking of them boils my blood. I think of the possibilities in which the bullet could have moved. What if the bullet was 3 inches below its original state? I shudder at the thought and look at Alex.

I take the water bottle and open it, pouring the water drop by drop on his face. His hand makes a movement against my torso and I swear no movement has ever made me happier. "Wake up, Alex." I whisper against his ear. I pour some more water over him and he slowly opens his eyes. His normal blue shade is turned into something deep, almost a scared look. He has an unfocused look at first but after blinking a few times, he opens his eyes completely and looks at me. He tries to sit up but fails. I smile down at him unable to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks.