Danger Days: The True Lives of The Shit-Faced Bastards

Introducing The Fabulous Kill-Gerard Y U SO Sassy!? ._.

~Jailbreak Riot's POV~

Did you guys know that after living in a run down old gas station for 2 months all by yourself, your adventually going to need food? o_O PSH! WHAT IS THIS!? I DON'T NEED FOOD! I'M A KILLJO--*stomach growl* Urh, okay okay! :s I shall feed you momentarily, CALM THE FUCK DOWN! >:D Well.....if I'm going to get food.....I'm going to have to wake up THIS lazy fuck! ._. *prods Abby's head with a wooden pole* YO! ABBITH! WAKE YOUR ARSE UP YAH MUGGLE! >:D WERE GOING GROCERY SHOPPING! :D "Urhh!! Fuck You! Lemme sleep yah bitch!" ._. Abby...If you don't get your ass out of that bed in the next 3 seconds, I will personally dump this bottle of grease on your face. " o_o You Wouldn't!!" *snap!* "Nyehh! Okay, Okay! I'm up! Whore! ._. Just give me a few minutes and we'll frolic off to the hell hole known as Battery City!" YAY!! :D

~Several Failed Attempts At Abby Trying To Sleep Later~

"Urgh! I still can't believe you woke me up from sleeps sexiness to GO WILLINGLY into Battery City! Bitch! YOU BE CRAZY!" Oh hush! We need food now get your buttcheeks into that passenger seat before I shove my foot up your ass! "URGHGUGUGUGUG!!" Bhaha here have an energy drink....it will cease your bitching! *shoves BL/I's crappy version of a monster in Abby's face which btw is full of distaste* ".....Nyeh okay!" *le chug* Better? "BAHAH THAT SOUNDED LIEK THE SNICKERS COMERCAILS!! WOLOLOLOL!!" Yeah.....your better.....LETS DO THIS THEN! :D "KAY!"

So driving into Battery City in the middle of the day with a hyper child hanging out your window screaming profanities at a tree isn't what people would define as 'smart' because right before we actually ENTERED  the city, a giant herd of Dracs came pouring out of random building and ally ways firing at us like there was no tomorrow. DAMMIT! ABBY! GET YOUR STUPID ASS BACK IN THE CAR AND START SHOOTING THESE BITCHES! "HUH--OH SHIT DRACS!!" ._. NOOOOO! That's just my grandma and her friends partying! ._. "Oh...well oka--" PSH! NOT REALLY!! SHOOT NIGGER SHOOT!! "YAY! >:D"And with that we took on the task of trying to drive a car that's going about 85 mph while at the same time, pouring your full focus into killing the ugly rat men in front of you. Huh. Women can multi task eh? Yeah well that's probably why I crashed the car into a spontaneous tree and broke a window isn't it? ._. Oh for FUCKS sake! MY CAR!! D: "PSH! OH SHUT YOUR BLABBING TUBE ABOUT YOUR CAR AND GET US OUT OF HERE!!" But what about the food? WE NEED FOOD! "FUCK FOOD! If we wait any longer these Dracs are going to have us surrounded! Now MOVE!" Urh fine! ._. But YOUR finding us dinner tonight! "Yeah sure whatever! DRIVE WOMAN DRIVE!!" *starts screaming like a rabid monkey who just lost a toe in an elevator accident* URH! BE GONE DRACS!! *runs le Dracs over simultaneously* STRIKE! XD "D-Did you just refer running over Dracs to bowling? o_o" Yupp. "That's....That's.....FUCKING GENIUS!! :D BAHAHA LET ME TRY! :D" PSH! NO WAY! I am NOT letting you drive my car! "Pfft! Fine! ._." *pout* Hehe....sucker........well anyways, we drove in silence for a while before deciding that we need to forget about the shit station and keep driving because the Dracs probably found that place while we were gone and re-destroyed it. (not liek there was anything worthy to destroy) but still.....time to find a new crib. "Hey Alyissa...." Hmm? "Do you think I can high five one of these cactuses while your still driving?" BAHAHAHAH DUDE I DARE YOU TO TRY! :'D But when your hand is full of cactus babies, don't ask me to get them out! "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" *chortle* So Abby stuck her body out the window until her dirty butt was the only thing keeping her attached to the car. Well instead of warning ehr to be careful I decide to be a proper best friend and try and make her fall out. HEHEHEHE >:D I started swerving the car around left and right spontaneously making the car jerk back and forth which also caused dear Abby to literally go flying out the window and hit another car that was passing us. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA--oh wait shit! BAHAH ABBY YOU DUMBASS! YOU JUST DESTROYES YET ANOTHER CAR! *groan* "Geese! Well I wonder who's fault that was! ._." *cackle* I don't know WHAT your talking about! You are the one who wa sticking out the window like an idiot! ;D "BSngHK FUCK! YOUR A FUCK!! I only fell because YOU--""WHAT THE FUCK!? MY CAR!!" Our fantastic little argument was rudely interrupted when a very peeved looking driver stepped out. Hah OH SHIT!