The Distinctions between us

Disobedience

Latifa

What the hell was that  Tifa?  I questioned  myself immediately after I locked the door behind me. Austin had dropped me off at Zahra's .I peeped  through the keyhole and saw that he was still  outside. I don't know  what  he was waiting for.

You dork! Maybe you could  Atleast tell him goodbye. You're  just so arrogant. The poor guy is so caring but all you do is push him away.My conscience betrayed me.

Why did I even peek at him? Without my consent ,my hands reached for the doorknob,opened the door   and my mouth yelled "Goodbye  and take care" before I shut the door and not giving Austin a chance to reply.

Again, what the hell Tifa?I don't know what's  happening to me.Traitors!First my conscience  betrayed me now my whole body. Why couldn't my genius of a brain do some quick calculations of the actions I took and their  consequences.And it has the courage to now inform me about the same consequences after already making the decision.

Really brain?are you mocking me? You're  a very big disappointment.

I knew very well that Austin is trouble, if I'd choose to continue  going  out and spending time with him  but I still agreed to it . Don't  blame me, blame my brain and my body they didn't function  at the time.
I smack my head as I rembered that I had gone out today to stop any small  ties I had with  Austin  only to come back with promises of seeing him more.

This isn't you Tifa. You know very well that Abu (dad) doesn't  want any of his children to associate with non-Muslims. He'll  actually kill you when he finds out you have actually gone out with him already.

Ooh no! Ya Allah!(OH God) please help me because I'm in big trouble.

I have always been  obedient to my dad even though he really never loved me that much .But even if I'd given it thought and put my dad's commands  over my decisions the time when I was with Austin before I agreed to  what he had said I'd still have failed because  not even my brain functioned and not once did it remember my dad and any of his rules.

I was starting to believe that  Austin was something else that's not human because he charmed his way to me. I don't  when or how he did it but he'd manage to get the answer he wanted out of me. I felt things that were unexplainable  whenever I was around him. In our religion, Islam it is stated that where there was a man and a woman,satan was bound to be between them and I believed that all my life and will still believe but somehow even that didn't stop me from feeling  comfortable  around Austin. I felt safe,  beautiful and very special  out of this world.

No! I won't be disobedient to my God or my parents. Disobedience has never been a path I'd  choose.

I sighed and finally moved from the door that I had been leaning on quite for long now. I immediately  felt the muscle cramp in my legs. I tried to shake it off and  finally
the pain eased. I went  to the living room and found  Zahra already facing my way.

"Salaam(greetings). Are you okay?I heard you come in but you just stood at the door and never entered the living room. "she knew me well.
"Salaam. I don't know what's wrong with me Zahra. "I said in my own dissapointment.Sincerely I didn't know if it's me.
"come sit down and tell me what's the matter dear"she said as she patted the seat next to her.
***
I decided I'd stay for the night. It was dark already outside. I called my mom to tell her I was sleeping over at Zahra's .My parents were okay with Zahra. They knew she was the only friend I had and since they met her  a couple of  times and for the  most obvious, she is a Muslim.They governed  my life a lot more than I did. But I was fine with it. They did know a lot more than me after all.

We were going to have a good girls sleepover.We had our special popcorn and candy bars on the table. A duvet just in case we fell asleep there and numerous CDs. Zahra chose an animation movie called Home. She knew  my favorites were animation or maybe comedies or series.
The animation started and we both went silent. It was such a good movie with some aliens taking over planet earth. By the mid of the movie, I was already cheered up and Zahra was happy she succeeded in doing so.

Right at the end of the movie and my phone buzzed. Who could it be? I am in no mood to text anyone now.

"Hey,your phone buzzed. Go on check it out it might be important."Zahra  nudged  me.

I took her advice, it might be
  important. I refrained when I saw Austin's name appear on the screen.

"Is something wrong? " I heard Zahra's  concerned voice.
"No. It's just Austin and he's the last person I want to talk to. "
"Ooh Tifa! Dear I love you and I'll be honest with you. You like this Austin guy already but you're afraid of your parents and your insecurities  get the best of you Tifa."I plainly looked at her.
She forgot about Islam.

"All those reactions that you body makes whenever you are around  him is because you like him. I believe  he likes you too. I know this is not the kind of advice that one can give to a  muslim friend  but I'll  tell you anyway. "She paused and i also psychologically prepared my brain for a speech of a lifetime.

"Look Tifa,all the time I have known  you, you have been so obedient to your God and parents and you have never really sinned against them. But just for this one guy who I really think is good for you, you could maybe not comply for once".I couldn't  help but widen my eyes she did not just tell me all that crap.

"I know I am a bad friend and  not righteous like you but I am sure even Allah will understand, I hope, that you like this guy very much.Man is to error and you are man Tifa. And if you still don't  want to error you'll still do it in the future. Rules were meant to be broken dear. "Where is my sane friend. This one has totally lost it.

"I might continue till midnight just to convince you  to sin for once. For Austin. He's the one guy that you liked so much as to give him your phone number and my address to come pick you up so you could go out with him. The first one to ever do even if it was not with your parents permission"
She's so manipulative that she's starting to convince me. Trust me if I say she can handle a job of marketing ..

" Just give him a chance.After all you'll be going back to Morocco  after your graduation and this is the only time to know him. You like him too, don't  you? If you deny it you are only lying to yourself ...Just think about it. Goodnight dear"

"Goodnight "I finally found my tongue and replied. She didn't  even know the guy and was really sticking on his side and standing up for him when  he wasn't  around.

I switched the TV off and crawled to bed.I thought over what she had said and I still didn't give in to the idea. I took my phone to set my alarm and again I saw Austin's name staring at me.

Poor guy he must have waited for my  reply and gave up and perhaps went to sleep.

I dared myself and read his messages. The first one was asking whether I was asleep already and the other one said goodnight and dream of me. Ooh I was so going to dream about him even if I didn't want to.

***
Hello lovelies😁😍. So Tifa is afraid of sinning although she already did and Zahra is encouraging  her to do so. She is so manipulative. But don't  we all sin at some point😕😕. By the way I'm not encouraging anyone to sin because of a boy. What  do you think  will happen?Comment to me if you happen to have friends  who actually encourage you to sin?🙋Vote if this chapter got you all excited. Share too. Love from messiroyal💟💞