The Distinctions between us

Decision

Latifa

        I really  need to pray... Scratch that I need to repent.I thought as I finished organising the massive wardrobe.
For the past two hours I have been Folding,ironing and arranging the clothes of Mrs. Hebert,my client. I fail to see how one can wear all these clothes.Forget that, the shoes: very high six inch heels  and every other type of shoes you know took a lot of the wardrobe space. But money was not a problem to the owner in fact she looked like she was far well off.

I would complain this uses up a lot of my time but I can't since it's my job and earns me a good pay.Mrs Herbet enters and I can tell she's  impressed.

"Wow! Just wow! You did a great job. I have to tip you dear"she said smiling.
"Thank you Mrs. Herbert.This is my job and I try very very hard to impress  my client,"I said in return.
She gave me my tip and I proceeded to tell her " please recommend me to your friends and family "
"Of course dear."she answered.
I gave her a thank you and bid her a goodbye before leaving.

I was in such a hurry that I did not notice someone coming my way. Before I knew it we bumped into each other and the firm body knocked me down.

Ouch! Did I hit the wall. Clumsy me! "Mrs? Are you okay? "A husky voice said.
Huh? I thought I hit the wall.Then I looked up and found blue eyes staring at me. I remembered that I am supposed to lower my gaze and immediately did.
" Yes I am fine. Sorry sir " I said guiltily and got up.
The guy offered to help me up but I did not take his hand.
"Are you sure you are okay? "The guy asked again trying to make me look up.
" I am fine thank you. Anyway sorry again. "then I ran out.
Whew! I called a cab and went back home.

***
The first thing I did when I reached home was go take ablution and pray.
After salaam I started.
"Ya Allah,Thank you for everything including life, health,family,food,shelter and clothes. I know that I can never thank you enough but Ya Razaqq(Oh the sustainer) thank you. "I proceeded in thanking him and making supplication and lastly repented.

I had made it a habit to talk to my God after all prayer is done and so I started:
"Ya Allah I know I sinned against you when Austin saw my shape  through the pencil dress the other day in the boutique and I know that I also sinned when I didn't lower my gaze and looked straight into his gorgeous dark-green eyes and I sinned when I let him touch me when he is a non-mahram and I also sinned when I accepted to go out with him. So please Ya Ghaffar(The most forgiving) forgive me.His a non-Muslim and I know that very well and you've always discouraged relationships with non-muslims  unless one wants to convert them to Islam through marriage which applies to boys utmost"

" But Allah this one(Austin) is something else. I can't even control myself around him. All the other boys before him I had no problem snapping at them without a  second guess and declining their offers.But I don't know what Austin is doing to me to get my attention without even trying and to get my genius brain go numb whenever he is around. "

"But right now God, I need your help. He said he wanted to spend more time with me before we go back to Morocco. To be honest I want that too because I like him already. Forgive me! but I do.I need your help because I have already answered him yes when I know very well the idea is not welcomed in Islam.I know this is crazy but what if I get to convert him to Islam? Will you forgive me when I choose to spend time with him and slowly get him to convert to Islam?"

"I don't  know what to do anymore. My only best friend who I think is perfectly insane is encouraging me to go on and go out with him but I know it's forbidden but then again I am tempted to follow her advice.So will you help me Ya Aalim (The All-knowing )"I finally finished and folded my praying mat.

Afterwards I went and join my mother in making dinner.It was already five in the evening and it was our routine to cook as early as now and eat after Isha prayer(The last prayer of the day).
I got to chat  with mom while cooking and she inspired me to ask her some questions  running in my mind.So I was about to speak and then she asked

"is there anyone yet? "I knew very well what she was asking but I put on a confused look and squealed "Huh? " instead.
"You know anyone you're  interested in or anyone you want to propose to maybe? "she asked me straightforward and my jaw fell.
Yes mom.I am interested in someone actually. But I answered
"No mom. There's no-one I am interested in. "I felt guilty mostly for lying.
"I am your mom,so you can tell me anything my angel.So I'll  try again anyone you're even slightly interested in? "she searched my eyes.
"Really mom no-one special."I said nonchalantly and I felt my stomach sink.
"If you say so"She said and got back to stirring the stew. I was really tempted to tell her and ask her about liking a non-Muslims so I said

"Mom,maybe in future a Kafir(non-muslim) asks to date me, do you think I should give him a chance? "It's a bit indirect .

"Huh? "was her response. She was silent for a while and then answered.
"I don't think you'll experience that in the future because we'll be going back to Morocco and by then your father would have found you a suitor.So such a situation can only happen between now and before your graduation. Tifa, Is there something I am missing? "

I gave up ,sighed and told her about Austin because I am seriously desperate for advice from a sane person.

After telling her, I asked. "So mom what do you think?I really like Austin and I am sure I can make him convert if I do get to spend time with him. I already asked for Allah's help but he hasn't answered me."
"Oh dear! I am only human and I could give you wrong advice. But if you like that guy then give him time. Didn't he say until your graduation? "she raised her brows.
"Yes" I answered.
"Then it's okay but remember not to indulge in Zinaa(fornication) " My eyes popped out on the last part. "And your father wouldn't like it at all if he hears this"she said dreading on the thought.
"Does he have to know? "I asked also intimidated.
"I don't know .you decide."she finished and left to pray Maghrib prayer.

I sat thinking about it more and I made up my mind.
Austin I am doing this because of you.I just hope Allah forgives me and you don't make me regret my choice. I also left to pray.

***
I know I am really Sorry for the long update. :( I am a really bad author,aren't I? Making my reader wait. Really sorry again.Make me smile by clicking the Star if you enjoyed or just make me happy. Share, comment and vote. Random question do you talk with your God like he's your friend or you keep your relationship like Master-servant
Mob love guys:-)😘