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Sleepy

After dinner I had excused myself and made my way upstairs to rest. It had been a long and confusing day.

Marie had told me to tell the truth but I refused and in doing so, I only brought myself closer to German as he comforted me.

It was foolish, but I couldn't help it and I certainly didn't regret it.

I decided to rest immediately as I'd be waking up at 3:15 the following morning to call Valeria.

I managed to get some sleep, but I was awake again rather quickly. I woke up just as the new day came and I decided not to sleep again as I probably wouldn't wake if I did.

Instead I lay in bed, lost in my thoughts. German thinks I'm staying and especially with the events of yesterday, saying I'm leaving could be disasterous.

I considered this for a while, whether I should leave or not but I couldn't decide.

True, today had me set on staying. Yet it wasn't that simple. I had Valeria to care for and I couldn't just bring her over here. What would German say? Would he even want to be a father again?

Although my feelings for German had resurfaced since returning, my feelings of protection for my daughter were still very strong. I'd been with her for four years. I'd been back with German for two days.

I was startled to consider how much I really cared for German. How after two days, I was struggling through a mental battle of whether to stay with him ot not. Maybe that really showed me how I felt about him, but I couldn't accept it.

When it finally came to 3:15, I was buzzing. I couldn't wait to speak to Valeria.

I dialled Marie's number and the phone rang. It was picked up rather quickly and I heard my daughter's voice on the other end.

"Mummy!" she screams, "How are you?"

"I'm great sweetie." I say tucking my knee's into my chest, "Did you sleep well? Sorry I couldn't call."

"Sleep was great! I really want bunk bed!" she giggles.

"You monkey! Do you like being high up?" I ask, a smile plastering my face.

"Yes Mummy! It really fun! You try!" she says laughing from the other end of the phone.

"I'll try when I get home." I say giggling, "But I don't want to keep you, so get ready for school!"

"Okay Mummy. I give Marie Phone. Love you! Miss you!"

"Love and Miss you too sweetie." I say rather sadly.

I hear the phone being passed over and then I hear Marie.

"So have you told him?" she says, getting straight to the point.

"No." I reply, "But I actually might."

"You might? You're considering it? What happened?" she screams down the phone like a mad person.

"We kissed." I say rather quietly.

"What? Who kissed who? Did you kiss him? He kiss you?" she says frantically.

"I kissed him," I say, "Then he kissed me."

Marie is screaming down the phone.

"Great! Okay, get some sleep, wake up perky and pretty and get him back! Bye!"

Before I could object, Marie hung up. Although I didn't agree with what she said, it did make me laugh.

It was still early and I needed to get some sleep, but I decided to get a glass of water before I did.

When I walked downstairs, I found German asleep on the sofa.

I giggled slightly before kicking him awake.

"Huh? Angie?" says German half asleep.

"Morning sleepyhead, why are you on the sofa?" I ask laughing.

"I haven't slept upstairs in months." says German sleepily, "What time is it?"

I shook my head and held out my hand.

"It's 3:30 and you are going to bed. C'mon."