(Gureshin) I wasn't made for him. He was made for me

One Step Farther~12

「Guren's P.O.V」

The gentle morning breeze blew across my face and through my hair. I looked up just in time to see the night sky turn a light blue. By now the moon's white natural glow was disappearing, knowing that the sun would soon arrive. Up over the horizon, the bright light was already awakening. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I continued to walk along the sidewalk. It was only the beginning of the day, yet I could feel an overwhelming wave of fatigue.

I looked up ahead of me to see a local coffee shop in the distance. A warm cup of coffee sounded welcoming enough especially on a morning such as this one.

I entered the small coffee shop. A series of ringing bells clanged together as the door shut behind me. Warmth enveloped my body. In an instant, the smells of freshly baked good and brewing coffee entered my nose. I glanced around the room, noticing that nobody sat at the tables.

"Good morning sir. You're the first one today. We just opened about fifteen minutes ago. Welcome."

I looked up at the counter to see a young black haired male with a shy smile on his face. He had dark grey eyes with a white eyepatch covering one of them. Behind that happy smile, I could sense his pain. I didn't know what it was, but I knew he could sense mine as well. His smile suddenly vanished, replaced with concern.

"Are you alright sir? Some coffee might do you good." His head was tilted to the side and he smiled again. The same sad smile.

"Oh right." I shook my head quickly and put on a smile as I walked up to the counter. "Can I just get a coffee please? With some milk? And sugar?"

"Yes of course. Um, that would be 3.50." His voice was sweet and kind, but I could tell he was nervous too. I pulled out my wallet and took out the right amount of cash.

"Here." He took it gratefully before starting on my coffee.

I took a seat by the counter to wait.

"So how long have you worked here?" I asked suddenly. Usually I was never the one who wanted to talk, but I couldn't bear the silence. The last thing I wanted was for my thoughts to overwhelm me again.

"W-well, uh not for long. Just around a week ago." He explained as he continued to make my coffee. I watched as he took out a fresh coffee cup and a small brown filter. He carefully placed the brown filter inside of the white coffee cup.

"That's great. You must really like it here then."

"Yeah, I do. It's like my second home." His lips curved into a smile. This time it was genuine. Just like Shinya's. He finished up my coffee and handed me the coffee cup and a napkin. "Here you go sir. If you need anything else, please let me know."

"I will, thanks." He bowed politely and disappeared behind the the counter. I sighed, I guess silence was inevitable.

I peered down into my coffee cup. My own face stared back at me blankly. Those same heartless violet and the same haughty expression. I blew into the cup, making the liquid ripple to the sides like waves. The sweet aroma of coffee filled my nose with pleasant smells. I lifted it up to my mouth and took a long sip. The warmth ended up burning my tongue, but it tasted amazing anyway. The same warmth reminded me of last night.

I remember suddenly waking up during the night and seeing Shinya curled up sleeping right next to me. His face had looked so peaceful with his eyes closed. Pieces of white hair strands had fallen across the white pillow he was lying on. I smiled to himself, admiring how beautiful he was. As I lay across my bed staring at him, all I felt was an urge to kiss him, but I knew I couldn't. At least not while he was asleep.

I put down my cup, realizing that I had drained the whole thing. Daydreaming about Shinya made everything go so much faster. Jesus, what was happening to me? I can't be falling in love with that white haired idiot.

I took out my wallet and placed a five dollar tip on the napkin. The coffee had been delicious, better tasting than what I would have imagined.

With a satisfied stomach, I got out of my seat and walked over to the door. The soft ringing of bells echoed through my ears as I left the tiny coffee shop. Maybe Shinya would enjoy the coffee there. I groaned, how could I be thinking of him again?

As I walked down the sidewalk, I could feel my heart thundering against my chest. It was possible Shinya would be mad at me. I had pushed him to the edge last night. But wasn't that what he had wanted? Or perhaps I had been greedy again. I would have done it if it weren't for his facial expression. I remember how scared he looked and the pain which was written all over his face. But then why? Why did he even come into my room? Didn't he know that if I wanted something, I would get it? Didn't he know that I was spoiled and I got everything I wanted?

I could almost feel my anger get the best of me. Love always was easy for me. If I could get any person I wanted, then why the hell can't I have Shinya? I can't hide my feelings anymore. I want him whether he wants me or not.

I continued walking until I reached my property. The sun was already high in the sky, climbing farther and farther each second. I reached my front door and took out my keys. I could already feel my eyelids drooping. Last night was too crazy to have been real.

I pushed the door gently after opening the door. My steps echoed across the hallway as I entered. Whenever I came home, it always felt so lonely. Nobody was around and living in a big place, made it seem more lonely.

I walked up the stairs to get to the master bedroom; Shinya's bedroom. My footsteps slowed as traveled down the carpeted hallway. I stopped directly at his front door and knocked.

"Shinya? Are you awake?"

I glanced down at my watch. 9:30. He should be awake at this time. Yet I heard no answer come from the door. I was so used to the silence I didn't expect anything.

"Shinya?" I called again, this time my voice was louder. There was still now answer. I grumbled, slightly annoyed. "Fine, I'm coming in then."

I put my hand on the doorknob and twisted it. I suspected that it would be locked, but it wasn't.

"I'm glad I didn't have to break the door down. What-"

My eyes widened. To my surprise the room was completely empty. The bed was made nicely; all the sheets and pillows were organized in a coordinated manner. All of Shinya's items that he had brought were gone and the worst part was he had left everything like he had nobody had ever lived in there. He could have just left it in a mess. Why the hell didn't he do that?

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Authors Note:

Sorry for the long wait!

But here you go! :) I might have combined an anime...

~ Maya N