(Gureshin) I wasn't made for him. He was made for me

Far From You ~ 15

「Guren's P.O.V」

I haven't heard from Shinya in four months. He just picked up his bags and left as though nothing mattered anymore. God dammit! How could he just leave me like this?

Out of pure anger, I punched the wall with my bare fist. Out of all the things, I couldn't have him. 

I took a deep breath, calming myself down. I left my room and walked downstairs to put on my shoes. I had another appointment today. This was the 5th one this week. 

I quickly put on my shoes and left my house, locking the door after myself. A chill ran down my spine due to the coldness of the air. Ever since Shinya left, the sun hadn't come out. It's as if the warmth in my life has left forever just because of some dumb idiot. 

I got in my car and drove towards the large white building that would seal my fate forever. I parked my car in the busy parking lot and got out. At once I heard the bright glare of the red ambulance wail. Just as I made my way to the main entrance, I saw the vehicle pass by in a matter of seconds probably carrying a person who was on the brink of death.I quickly looked away and entered the building. 

Inside the room was crowded with people. Most people were waiting on the benches for their loved ones while a group of nurses ran to the emergency room. 

I saw an empty bench and sat down, putting my hands in my pockets. I checked the nearby clock. I was exactly five minutes earlier. I glanced around, examining my surroundings. EVerything felt so dull yet chaotic all at the same time. I waited patiently until finally a woman with dark brown hair and a nurses's outfit came up to me. 

"You're Guren Ichinose, am I right?" She glanced down at her clipboard and then at me

"Yep that's me. How's she doing?" I asked with the most disinterested voice I could muster. 

"She's doing fine. Would you like to see her?"

"No not really, but what choice do I have? She's carrying my baby after all." I muttered as I stood up. 

"Come with me sir." The nurse only smiled and lead me through the black white hallways. I followed her, sighing. She pointed to one of rooms with a pink colored door and opened it up for me

As expected, Mahiru was laying down on the pull in bed with a bunch of wires attached to her body. She sat up excitedly when she saw me. I only frowned. 

"Could you give us a few minutes?" She asked the nurse who nodded in return and left, shutting the door behind her. 

"How's it going Mahiru with the baby I mean?" I asked and sat down on a pulled up chair next to the bed. 

"Well, today I figured out that we are going to have a baby boy! We should choose a name for him."She held her stomach with one of her hands with a happy smile. A smile that I fell for so long ago. 

"Mahiru, 'we' doesn't exist anymore. It's only you and I. And that baby you're having is yours not mine. Stop acting like we are still a couple." I crossed my arms over my chest. 

"How could you say that Guren?" She frowned. "It's your baby too, you were the one who put it in me. Since you're the father, you need to take care of him too." 

"I told you already, I would give you enough money to support the baby but I'm not raising him with you. We agreed to those terms when I found out." I explained exhaustively. 

Mahiru narrowed her eyes at me. 

"You told me you wanted to have a future with me Guren. It's all because of Shinya. If you never tutored him, you would never have fallen in love with him." She replied with a sly smile. She knew I was sensitive when it came to Shinya. 

"Shut the hell up Mahiru, I don't love him nor do I love you for that matter." I knew I was lying to myslef. My feelings for Shinya were all a mess of confused feelings. 

"Look I need to go. You can imagine an unrealistic future however you want, but i'll never be a part of it." i stood up and turned my back on her. "Please don't call me again." 

Before she could say anything else, I left the room. Due to my stupid mistake, I made my life a living hell. This was exactly what Mahiru wanted, but not what I wanted. How the hell did it come to this? Shinya, what the hell did I do? 

I pulled out my phone, just in case he texted me, but like always my phone showed no notifications. Well, none from Shinya. The one person who was tearing my life apart. 

I walked to my car and got in. Maybe I'll never see Shinya again, but that won't stop me from looking for him. The only clue I got was that Shinya had called me from the train station. He must have taken one of the trains to wherever he wanted to go. Which was far far away from here, that's all I knew. 

I started up my car and began to drive to the train station. No matter what I needed to find him even if it kills me. Maybe if I find him this hole in my heart will disappear.  

****

___________________________
Authors Note:

Short Chapter but yup. Thanks for all the people who gave advice. You all are amazing! 

- Maya N