The Happiest Sadness.

Tough Love.

"I love you."
That means something right? It means someone actually cares about you? Or are they just three little words, people use to make things seem not so bad?
What do those three words mean?
Are they the words that someone says, right after a cold fist just landed on your face?
Are they what someone says right before they walk out on you?
Are they what your parents say right after they scream at you for something pointless?
Are they what your parents say when they put you last?
Are they what your siblings say, because your parents don't have that capability?
Are they what a friend says, when you've lost your mind, and they're at loss for words?
Are they what someone says, just to keep you around, because they too, are afraid of being alone?
Are they what someone says when they've just forced you to do something, you didn't want to?
All my life I've never felt loved.
But if that's what love is, I must be a very loved person.
Because every time I hear "I love you",
Someone takes a strike at my face.
Someone walks away, to never come back.
My parents scream at me for something that shouldn't matter.
My parents once again put me last.
My siblings, have the capability to do what my parents can't.
My friend sits quietly, wishing they could leave.
When I hear that, I'm only kept around, not wanted.
When I hear those three little words, someone is forcing me into things I don't want to do.
It's just "tough love" they say.
I want to feel real love.
I want to feel the love, that doesn't make you cry.
I want the love, that warms you up, and makes you smile.
The kind of love, that makes you want to be around people.
Instead, all I have is "tough love".
And that's all I'll ever have.