The Happiest Sadness.

Firey Soul.

They say the first time you love, you become more diligent. That you see things in a different way, and the world seems a little brighter to you.
But I find that hard to believe.
Why you ask?
Because when I loved, I fell so hard I shouldn't be alive.
My thoughts changed, and I found myself dependent on a person.
Every touch, kiss, and look, engraved another scar into my soul.
The world seemed to whirl past me, without a second to think about it.
My soul was on fire when I was with you.
Only, you put that fire out when you left.
I crashed to the ground, not having the strength to get up.
Sleep became nonexistent, and my nights became liquor and drunken phone calls.
I cried so hard, that my body ached from the core, and my salty tears burnt my cheeks.
Life became dull, and I would touch my lips a thousand times thinking of our last kiss.
My hands seemed cold, almost begging to be held.
My skin wishing it could be wrapped up with yours just one more time.
My eyes, looking for your hazel eyes that lit up in the sunlight, in a crowded room.
I don't think love opens you up to a more meaningful life, unless you have it.
But I do know, that it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
Because you my dear, left a tiny flicker in the pit of my soul, for someone to restart.
That flicker gets just a little bigger when I think of the time I spent with you.
So I'll sit, and I'll wait.
Until someone comes along and sets fire to my soul again.