The Happiest Sadness.

A Memory Storm.

The cold rain trickles down my nose, mixing with my tears.
My jacket is soaked through, and my boots are filled with water.
The jagged tree bark against my back, and the thick red mud underneath me, only makes for a colder night.
I should get up. I should go in. I should change into warm clothes and drink hot chocolate.
But all of that seems pointless to me right now.
I gulp and lean my head back against the rain soaked tree.
Memories flash in my mind, like the lightning that flickers every now and then.
I reminisce on how it use to be.
How I once was a bright minded child who didn't have a care in the world.
How I once loved, without regret.
How I once never knew what pain was.
How I would let the sun warm me up, and the rain dance on my skin.
How tears only came when I scratched my knee or twisted my ankle.
How the word lonely, meant that my brother was too sick to play.
How life went by not too fast, but not too slow.
How guilt was accidentally pushing my brother down.
How my world seemed to be an adventure every morning I woke up.
How I once knew what it was like to have a life, where family loved one another, and pain wasn't something you felt when you came home.
Tears stream down my face, softly falling onto my lips.
I shake the thoughts from my head, pull myself up, think of the life I use to have, and head back into what doesn't feel like home.