The Happiest Sadness.

Coming Back To Life.

80's rock music blast from the speakers in the kitchen as my house fills with people.
One by one, I️ get a hug from each, and a slight smile, knowing they can't see the difference yet.
One by one, they pile in, ready to laugh and talk with their family.
Only, they don't expect that from me.
They expect me to quietly excuse myself, and got to my room.
So I️ quietly file in after everyone else, and sit.
I️ sit calmly, with a tiny smile on my face, that is for the first time in forever, genuine.
Someone strikes up a conversation, and we all become involved.
Soon enough, jokes are being told, and a laugh so deep comes from within, that it shocks me at how happy I️ am.
Everyone notices, but no one says anything.
I begin to tell jokes, and give out more laughs than I️ have in the past six years.
For the first time in years, I️ feel alive.
I️ feel like I️ could laugh for hours, and never get tired of it.
I️ can feel how happy I️ am, and how the whole room has fed off my vibe.
My brothers and sisters, seeing the sister they once knew.
My laughs rattle off the walls like ripples in the water.
The little girl who was once so happy, so innocent, Wakes from within, and comes out as a laugh.
She comes out, to see the family that she's hid from for so long.
I️ finally feel alive again, after feeling dead for so long.