If You Read This...

It all Started When Ivy Came Back

"Ivy!" Nia screamed. Rory and I turned to see her running towards us. The three of us sped towards her and pulled her into a group hug.

"It's been so long!" Nia said, continuing to hug her after Rory and I let go.

"Too long," she agreed, "I'm never going on a summer vacation with my aunt ever again."

"Was it that bad?" Rory asked.

She rolled her eyes, "my cousin pissed the bed every night."

"Wow," he cackled. We walked back to the table in the corner where we always sit.

"Still you had to have some fun. You were in Paris for god sakes," I said.

"Not really. There's not actually any good pastries, just a lot of cheese," She got up to order coffee, Nia followed her.

"What's wrong with cheese?" Rory asked. I chuckled. They brought us back coffee.

"Thanks."

"So, how have things been up here?" Ivy asked.

"Down here," I correct.

"Down here," she mocked me. I laughed.

"Stressful," Rory answered.

"Agreed, I am not ready for school to start," I concurred.

"Join the club," said Nia. The four of us hadn't been together since Ivy left for Paris over a month ago.

"I missed this," I smiled. We talked and caught up for a few hours, then walked home.

"Bye," Rory said. What?

"You're not coming with me?" I asked.

"You don't mind," Rory hesitated. Seriously?

"Dude, we've been over this."

"Yeah, I know. Won't your dad get annoyed? It's like the second week."

"He doesn't care." I looked at the ground. He didn't care about anything.

"Thanks man," he grinned. I studied his arms, lost in the ocean of his oversized sweatshirt. He always wore one, even in the middle of summer. He never wore shorts either, usually only black jeans. Maybe that's why he was so pale.

But it didn't matter how many layers he wore, I knew exactly what he was hiding.

"I'm not just gonna make you go back there, Rory," I promised.

"Yeah, I know." He glanced at me. I'd never seen eyes like his, purple. Looking into them was like getting lost in a galaxy.

"Theo?" He lifted his tone.

"Yeah?"

"You think we could get bunny when we go to college?" He asked. I chuckled.

"Why not?" I chuckled. I couldn't help but beam at the thought of us in college, away in some small flat in London, surrounded by animals. No parents to tear us apart, no girls to break our hearts, just my poems and his music.

Rory passed out on my bed almost immediately after we got back, so, I pulled out my notebook and wrote more letters.

Dear Mom,

If you read this...

Ivy came back today

It seems like forever she's been away

I missed her smile

And curly red hair

Nia's happier with her around too

Rory's spending the 16th night in my room

I bet if you were here, you'd make us cookies or something

Dad just leaves us with nothing

Anyway, how are you doing?

-Your son, Theo.

I sighed, closed my notebook, and went to sleep on Rory's air mattress.

I woke up to the sound of wind whooshing in my face.

"Rory?" I looked at my bed. Empty. I frantically swung my head around. My window was opened.

"Jesus!" I felt my stomach drop. I threw my covers off and plunged towards the window. I couldn't see anything. My heart pounded as I switched on my phones flashlight, revealing him on the edge of the outdoor window cell. He was trembling, he had his knees pulled up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. I sighed with relief.

"Rory," I whispered, slowly climbing out my window and approaching him. He jumped, gasping for air.

"Hey, hey," I reached one hand out, in attempt to comfort him, and kept the other one of the surface for balance. I knelt beside him.

"In and out, in and out," I tried to slow his breath. I opened my arms, and he slowly laid his head on my legs. My heart burst into pieces, like a glass plate hitting the ground, as I felt his entire body shake, and his tears pile up on my jeans. I ran my fingers through his jet-black hair.

"You're okay," I whispered, holding back tears.

"I want to go down, Theo," he muttered.

I held him tight, "No. It's dark down there. It's lonely down there. Stay up here, with me. There's light up here," I pointed to the flashlight. He chuckled. A tear-filled chuckle.

"There's London up here. Our flat, and our rabbits, and dogs, and music's here. There's life up here, Rory. Ivy and Nia and Isaac are up here. I'm up here, man. Don't leave me alone up here," I held him close, as I let a tear fall. He didn't say anything.

"Come back inside with me, please?"

He still stayed silent, but I felt him nodding. I helped him up and brought him inside. I closed my window and locked it, though if he wanted to, he could just flip the lock, so I wasn't helping anything.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, eyes still full of tears.

"For?"

"Waking you?" He questioned his own words. I couldn't contain myself from wrapping my arms around him and thanking god for his living body.

"I can't go back, Theo," he cried, "I can't."

"You don't have to. Not now. Right now, you can just go to sleep, safely in my room. I'll be right here," I guaranteed.

"Thanks man," he pulled away, wiping his tears.

"Yeah, of course. Anything else?"

"It's just a bit hot in here," he looked up at my fan, spinning at full speed. I looked at his sweatshirt.

He caught my eyes and immediately blurted, "Don't worry about it, it's okay. Thanks for everything. Goodnight, Theo."

I sighed, "Yeah. Night." Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut and let him sleep, but I didn't. I couldn't stop my brain from thinking it, and I didn't stop my mouth from saying it.

"Rory?" My voice started to break.

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to hide it from me, I- I know what's really there." I began to cry just imagining all the scars and bruises painted on his skin.

"Goodnight, Theo."