Fall

Samantha

"Hey."

"Hey."

"You haven't been answering any of my calls, I was worried," he says.

"Well, glad I answered now, did I?"

"Samantha." He says in a serious tone. "It's my birthday in three weeks."

"Still too far to be thinking," I bitterly say. "What should I do?"

"I still want you to treat me like I should be treated."

"Really? You expect everything to be that easy?"

"Samantha I was wrong. I know I was. If I could only turn back time."

"Too bad you can't, can you?"

Ten seconds of silence went on, and I said, "I think I should go. Bye." I drop the call, even before he can respond.

"It's him, is it?" My mother asks.

"Yes, it is. But we didn't go on."

"Honey.. stop shutting him out. He's your father."

"You have no idea what you're talking about. He shut me out. Us out!"

"But sweetheart, he's still a huge part of you. Always remember that."

"Mom, I don't want to hurt you, or say the wrong things to you just because I'm upset. If you'd please excuse me, I think I should go out. Maybe I just need to be alone. For now."

"I understand." She says, and watches me leave.

"Hello?" My voice shivers and my breath moists on the car window. "Can you please come out?"

"What's the matter?" He says. "Okay, I'll be there. Wait up."

In five minutes he sees me right out the road, sitting on the waiting shed, all alone.

"Samantha!" He runs into me and hugs me tightly with his warm arms. "You're so cold." He puts his hand on my other shoulder and pulls me in for a tight side hug. He puts his hand on my ear section and gently lays my head on his shoulder. He kisses me on the forehead and he hears a silent cry. "Why are you crying?" He whispers ever softly. "Tell me.." His husky voice can't get out of my heart and my head. "Thank you for everything." That's all I was able to say. "Thank you, Greyson."

He lifts my chin up to face him and both his hands touching both my cheeks. "I can't see you like this." I watch his eyes a bit teary and convincing. "Please, stop crying.." He hugs me again, this time even tighter. I felt his gentle lips touching my cheek, then next my forehead. He does not let go of the hug.

"I hate to see you like this." I feel a tear from his eye go down to my ear where he whispers, "You're very important to me."

Silence speaks the loudest words. All I could ever hear was his heartbeat - but to every beat all it speaks was, I love you. I feel it. It's genuine. I'm getting everything.

But I can't see Greyson like this. I love him too. But I don't want to get serious about things and screw everything up when he finds out. I don't want to hurt him.

So that's the decision and it's final. For now.

I can't love him.