Heaven Can Wait [Destiel] +oneshots

Chapter four ⛧

Dean came back to the bunker alone. He tried going after the angel but got lost in the crowd. Dean returned to his car shortly after leaving. He sat behind the wheel, his eyelashes wet and sparkling. The man hit the wheel with his palms out of frustration and sat there with an empty gaze till the parking lot cleared. The movie had ended a long time ago, the screen was black. All the lights went out one by one leaving Dean in total darkness. The man was still staring at an empty space rethinking his life decisions. 

"God, I ruin everything." Dean ran his palm over his face to get rid of the feeling of lingering tear trails

The whole time as Dean drove back home he could see Castiel's face so close in front of him. The angel's lips against his, so soft but cold. Dean wasn't expecting much, maybe just a little peck, a tiny smile. Anything... But the angel stood cold, his face emotionless as if nothing happened as if Dean didn't just kiss him. That small little kiss took all the courage the man had in him. Dean was angry at himself for being so weak when it came down to those things. He was never good at expressing his feelings, he would just often hide it behind a mask or try to pass it as a joke. 

Dean stood next to the Impala for about an hour just staring at the dark outline of the bunker. Dean couldn't admit to himself that he was scared, the man tried to convince himself that he just needed some time to think which was not true. He had plenty of time to think. At the parking lot and while he was driving. That whole time all that Dean had on his mind was Castiel. More than he usually. One good thing happened that day: at least Dean found out Cas' feelings towards him.

Dean felt a bitter taste on his tongue, his chest ached and he hated every second of it. The man entered the bunker as quietly as he could hoping that Sam is asleep by now so he wouldn't have to deal with anyone. 

"Dean!" Sam greeted his brother with open arms 

Sam enveloped Dean into a tight brotherly hug and gripped the man's shoulders.

"So..." Sam had a clever smile on his lips "How did it go?"

"I don't wanna talk about it..." Dean gently pushed Sam aside and made his way into the kitchen where he grabbed the last pack of beer

"Dude, what happened?" Sam tried to talk to Dean but all he got was an angry glossy-eyed glare

"I just went for it... like you said." Dean murmured quietly not wanting his voice to break again "And he just stared at me and walked away. So..."

"I'm so sorry, Dean." Sam let out a heavy sigh "Do you-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it." Dean furrowed his brows "I'm going to sleep."

"Nigh." Sam tried to squeeze out a smile

Dean glanced at his brother for a brief second and walked to his room without saying goodnight. Dean's steps slowed down as he was approaching Castiel's room. The man cursed himself in his mind for letting Castiel's room be so close to his. Dean stood in front of the closed door trying to collect his courage. But the man's hand didn't move no matter how hard he wanted to knock. Dean wanted to talk to Castiel like a normal human being. They had to figure this out but Dean lacked courage again. The man just let out a heavy sigh and walked to his room. 

Dean hit the lights and sat the beer on his bedside table. The man's eye caught something that wasn't on his bed before. Dean's facial expression shifted from pained to even more hurt when he realized that those were the clothes Castiel borrowed from him a couple of days ago. Dean picked up the shirt, it looked worn but not in a bad way. It didn't have that fresh out of the washing machine stiffness to it. Dean looked around making sure the door was closed before bringing the shirt up to his face. Dean closed his eyes and drew in a soft breath.

"What am I doing..." Dean whispered softly before pressing his whole face against the fabric

The man stood there inhaling the foreign scent that the shirt had collected. Dean peeled off his shirt and replaced it with the one he had been holding and plopped down on the bed. Dean grabbed the TV remote and surfed through the channels. He found a movie he wanted to watch and laid in his bed with a bottle of beer in his hand. The man was finally feeling somewhat peaceful but a knock on the door disturbed his rest. 

"W-who is it?" Dean lifted his head up

"Dean, Sam needs your help in the basement, he said that he let out something out of a jar." 

Dean's breath got caught in his throat, suddenly Castiel's voice made the same memories from before swirl in the man's mind and it was unpleasant. Dean was trying so hard to push them down and Castiel's voice was making it difficult. Dean groaned and got off the bed. He glanced at the mirror before opening the door to face the angel.

Castiel stood slouching a bit, his blue eyes glistened in the dim light making it hard for Dean to breathe normally. He licked his lips to speak but all he could do was breathe through his open mouth because Castiel's presence was suddenly magnetizing. Castiel's face seemed different, usually, it was cold, serious. Now the man had a soft glimmer in his eyes and his cheeks were warmer looking than before. 

"I see that you found the clothes I had returned." Castiel spoke lowly and squeezed out a smile even though his chin was trembling

Dean nodded and left his room. His hand brushed over the handle before turning around, Dean wanted Castiel to walk away but the angel was still standing behind him. The man's eyes met Castiel's and it was really hard to fight the urge.

"Dean, about what happened today..." Castiel started, his eyes suddenly turned glossy

"What about it?" Dean put on a fake smile but it hurt his insides to see Castiel slowly breaking down

"I am sorry." Castiel's blue puppy-like eyes stared at Deans green ones "I should have never walked away like that, I was just... Confused."

"It's alright." Dean let out an empty chuckle and patted Castiel's shoulder "It's all a-okay."

"Dean, stop it." Castiel gripped Dean's arm and yanked him closer not letting Dean walk away

"Cas, I said it's fine." Dean grumbled making the angel's eyes glisten with tears even more

"It's not." Castiel shifted his glossy gaze away "Talk to me."

"I said.." Dean pushed the angel away annoyed "Its fine."

The angel pressed his lips together to stop the bottom one from trembling. His mouth opened and closed quickly like the man wanted to say something but the tremor in his body prevented the words from coming out. Castiel reached his hand out to stop Dean from walking away but the man was quicker. He quickly walked down the hall. Dean's pace quickened when he heard loud banging and glass breaking in the basement. Castiel caught up with him.

Dean's worried thoughts about Castiel evaporated for a second because his mind focused on the fact that Sam might be in danger.