Why?

Chapter 5. Autumn

After talking to Leo, we made a plan to trick Alex into confessing that she took my letter. I texted Alex to meet up and talk about being friends. We figured that if she believed that I was giving her another chance she'll give it back. I knew that if she took it then she's only doing it for attention.

"What did I do wrong?" I asked Alex.

"What do you mean?" She asked me.

"Alex, I can understand your commitment issues but we were together for four years and you was my bestfriend. I want to know what did I do wrong that pushed you away." I said while starring at her eyes.

"Honestly, I just couldn't handle being in love and I know we were super close. I still want to be close to you. Just give it a chance." She responded.

"Okay, but why'd you take my dad's letter?" I asked boldly.

"Well, that night you were drunk, you kept talking so much about how you have a mother now and I wanted to help you find her so we could get back on good terms." She answered while biting her lip.

Every time she lies she always bite her lip. I didn't know she took it but now I know for sure. 

"Why are you lying to me?" I said while growing irritated.

"What gave it away?" She asked while smiling.

"I became accustom to you telling me bullshit so I can spot it from a mile away." I retorted. 

She sighed in defeat while pulling out the envelop. "Fine. I took it because I don't want you to find the lady in the photo. Your life has changed dramatically already and I don't need another reason for you to not be in my life." 

"Can you please pick one? Love me or leave me alone. I'm tired of going on this rollercoaster that has no destination. It's truly making me sick." I said.

"I can't love you the way you love me but I still want-"

I cut her off. "Thanks for the coffee and have a nice life."

I stood up from the chair and quickly grabbed the envelop with my dad's letter in it. I walked out the store with a smile on my face because I finally felt free. Leo was totally right about her having the letter. I didn't expect it but with Alex everything is always unexpected. 

As I was walking to my car I spotted this girl from my psychology class. I wanted to walk up to her and speak but my feet weren't heading in her direction. She started smiling at me when she caught me starring at her. I waved and that caused her to start walking towards me. I was getting so nervous and I don't even understand why. 

"Hey, I know you from school right?" She asked.

I was about to respond until I looked into her eyes. My world stopped and I was lost for what seemed like centuries. All I could do was nod my head up and down. Completely pathetic of me.

"It's Jordan right?" She asked.

I nodded again like a idiot.

"I'm Autumn." She said while smiling at me as if she knew what she was doing to me.

"Well, it was nice seeing you again. I have to go to work but I'll see you in class on Tuesday." She said while walking away.

It was as if I was shot when I saw her backside. I hit myself hard on top of my head. Damn, why am I so gay. 

"Fucking dumbass." I said to myself. 

I got into my car and drove home. I couldn't get her out of my head. Autumn. It's such a pretty name. Damn, why do I keep going after girls with the first name starting with A? Why did I freeze up like that? But she had to like me right? She kept smiling so that's a good thing right? I wonder where she works at. What if she works at the coffee shop? I'm going to have to stalk her. It's something about her that I just needed to know more about her.

Later that day, my two besties, Madison and Jamie, came over. I told them about Autumn, not that I knew much about her.

"Damn, Lesbians do move on fast." Jamie said.

I laughed. "I'm not in a relationship with her and honestly another relationship is the last thing I need."

"That's right Jordan! You focus on you and love yourself. God is all you need." Madison said loudly.

"So what happened with Alex?" Jamie asked.

"Let's just say that I received my closure with her and that'll be the last time I see her." I responded.

"That's good girl because that heifer had to go. Either you was going to do it or I was." Madison said with a serious face.

"I know, I heard you were trying to jump her." I said.

"No, that's not what happened." Madison retorted. "She walked in your house all mad and shit, talking about where is Jordan. So I walked up to her asking what did she want and the bitch gave me attitude. I wasn't going to lose my temper because I didn't come over for drama. But then she pushed me out the way when she saw you. At that moment, everyone in that room knew she freaking messed up, even you. You rushed to get in between us but I guess running and being drunk wasn't your best choice of action. Next thing I know, you started blowing chunks everywhere." She said.

"Wow. So she started it?" I asked. 

"Yeah, I saw all that shit go down." Jamie said. "I tried telling that girl that she didn't want anything over here. Foo, people are so slow mane."

"Nah, that girl is just crazy." Madison said.

I agreed with what they were saying, after all Alex was pretty much bipolar. I couldn't help but to wonder about Autumn again. I hope she's not crazy. I wonder if she like girls. I'm excited for Tuesday because I'm going to shoot my shot. Hopefully, I won't freeze up again. My phone started vibrating over and over again. 

"Who's blowing up your phone? Jamie asked.

I looked down to check.

"Ugh, it's Alex." I said.

"Girl, if you don't block her." Madison said.

That was the best idea I've heard all day but just as I was about to block her, I saw her message.

Jordan!!! 

I see her.

The lady in the picture.

Your mom is at the coffee shop.

At the moment, I couldn't breathe.