It felt like hours, day's even years went by as I watched patiently as Carlisle ran back and forth from his office to the library. Embry and Quil went back to La Push to explain to Sam what they knew so far. Leah as usual, stayed outside in the woods. Always on her guard, always cautious about what is going on inside, without being inside.
"Renesmee, sweetie would you please go back to the cottage to get my book on the bedside?" my mother's worried face looked so tired.
"yes ma'am" I nodded before I ran out the house.
I knew it was just to distract me but maybe this is what I needed. I couldn't help but run the same thing over and over in my mind. 'What have you done' as my grandpa looked at me with the most worried look on his face. I surely didn't understand what he meant but I guess it was a process I would have to wait to find out. I reached the cottage in the normal speed. I noticed that he cottage door was open.
"Hello?" I sniffed the air to search for the normal smells.
I could catch the scent of Jacob and the others. I could also smell my families' tracks, but nothing out of the ordinary. I cautioned myself as I walked in. I couldn't sense any danger but I have been wrong before. I rushed to my parent's bedroom and grabbed the book upon their bed stand. I didn't bother reading the title for I wasn't interested. As I shut their door I felt a hand upon my shoulder. I panicked as I turned to find Jacob.
"Renesmee are you ok?" I slowed my already panicked heart down to the normal fast paced beat.
"Yes" I wrapped my arms around him right away.
"Where have you been Jacob" I could feel myself melt in his arms.
"Looking for you" he grabbed my shoulders.
His longing look, as if he lost me, scared me. His huge gentle arms were around me again. For a moment I felt like nothing else in the world mattered. Just us, this moment, this feeling of security mattered. I laid my head onto his chest as he gently kissed my forehead.
"Come on, I want to check on Paul" he reached down to grab a hold of my hand.
We walked to the house, silent at first until we got to the river. He slowed down to a stop. He fidgeted at first as he attempted to look at me. I knew he was going to say something. Just didn't know if I was quite prepared for what he had to say.
"Nessie, baby. I never...." I could see how torn up about whatever he needed to say.
"You never what?" I pierced my forehead closer to him.
"I never want to have this feeling ever again" I looked at him confused.
I took a step back as I studied his emotions. I couldn't tell if he was referring to almost losing me, or if he was trying to break up with me. I could bare the last thought. I stood there motionless as he stared at me. I couldn't even wrap my head around a world without Jacob, and yet here he is asking to quit? How could he just up and leave like this?
His crease in his worried forehead grew deeper. He took a step closer as he attempted to hold my hand. I pulled my hand up close to my chest as I stared into his big brown beautiful eyes. This man that stood in front of me, the man that I love deeper then ever. Is what, running away from me? A single tear ran down my face. I wiped it away with the back of my hand.
With the movies and books I've read, I knew how crying looked but never experienced it. I guess with a sheltered life such as mine there was no need to cry. I had all my loved ones around me constantly. Happiness was a virtue I cherished deeply.
Jacob stepped forward in that instant and wiped the remaining tears from my face. He enclosed my face with his. His lips crushed against mine with out warning. I couldn't resist but want more. I knew he was only trying to make me feel better. His lips, the sweetest taste I've ever tasted, were pulling away from mine.
