I woke up the next morning, face stiff and eyes swollen from all the crying.
I inhaled and exhaled deeply, letting reality sink in and just taking a moment to get my head together.
Suddenly I felt a horrible pain in my stomach.
Not the type you get from eating spoiled food..
The kind you get when someone kicks you, or knocks the wind out of you.
The kind you can only receive from being in a physical confrontation... or from getting your heart ripped out of your chest.
The only thing was... I ripped it out myself.
I covered my face with both hands and slid up, pushing my hair out of the way and layed back on my bed and groaned.
Suddenly, the kitten I found on my morning jog a few months back hopped up on my bed and started purring in my ear, brushing it's soft, cuddly tail along my cheek.
I couldn't help but crack a smile, feeble and weak as it was.
"Hey little fella," I said to him softly, lightly stroking his nose.
I took a second to just continue petting him and stare at my ceiling.
I looked to the side to face my window.
I then saw Oli's window, which seemed to have all the sunshine from outside hitting it directly, making it sparkle.
And that's when it hit me...
I feel like I have had every inkling of happiness sucked out of my soul.. because I made them leave.
Oli is my happiness.
And if Oli makes me happy.. and if I make him happy like he says I do.. then I guess it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks right?
I deserve some happiness in my life.
I excitedly sat up in bed, startling the kitty a bit and then kissing him on top of the head.
I quickly changed into a presentable outfit and brushed through my hair a bit.
I then threw my window open and frantically began knocking on Oli's window.
When there was no answer I assumed maybe the Sykes weren't home and I'd just need to talk to him later in the day.
Maybe this is a good thing I thought to myself.
I mean the least I could do is shower and put on some makeup.
In fact... I'll make an amazing night for him.
I have to win his heart back.
Mom's gonna go to her best friend's house tonight to help polish off her Thanksgiving leftovers, which means I'll have the house all to myself.
I'll make him a nice dinner, make it all romantic with candle light and flower petals and all that jazz.
My smile was getting bigger and bigger as the ideas were flowing through my head.
I slightly squealed and quickly grabbed my ipod to facetime Kat what she thought.
"Whoa, what's up with your face?!" Kat asked.
"Good morning to you too, butt wipe," I said.
"Sorry, good morning," she said, laughing.
"Let's go shopping," I said.
"... you seem... happy.." she said, confused.
"Oh I am," I said.
"But.. I mean not judging you or anything but after the crazy fiasco that went down at your place yesterday.. I dunno, I definitely would not be happy," said Kat.
