A Basket Full of Bats

Stupid Joker

The next two months were somewhat comical.

Catwoman had decided she looked really cool with the addition of a three quarter length black trench coat. She insisted to Batman it had absolutely, positively, nothing to do with trying to hide anything.

She was also trying halfheartedly to reform herself by assisting the vigilantes when the whim suited her.

Hormones and nesting instincts, a cat-o-nine tails and high heels...

Red Hoodlum(Jason) growled and squirmed as Catwoman took a tissue to his cheek rubbing off a blood splatter. "Baattman! Make her stop!" He adjusted his domino mask and pulled his red hoodie down a little.

Batgirl (Cassandra) who was hiding in the shadows sheathed her knife and shook with silent laughter.

Red Bat(Tim) handed Catwoman an envelop of prenatal vitamins and a booklet he'd prepared detailing the dietary recommendations, calcium requirements, restricted foods, and recommended exercises. "I separated the information into tabs and there is an index at the back."

Carrie grinned at Catwoman. "I've been trying to look for a hero name. There's already a Batman(Bruce), Batgirl(Cassandra), Spoiler(Stephanie), Red Hoodlum(Jason), Dark Knight(Terry), Nightwing(Damien), Red Bat(Tim). I think Bat has been overdone. I think there should be a Catgirl. You always look so cool."

Catwoman who had been certain she was getting chubby and had vainly spent half of her evening in the mirror preening fussily, smiled at the compliment. "Darling, with that red hair you'd look amazing in leopard print."

When Catwoman was almost 6 months along, something happened. She still had not committed to what she was going to do with the children when they were born. The trench coat wasn't quite enough to keep her pregnancy from being common knowledge in the Gotham underworld.

Joker got his hands on Batman and a handful of the mini-vigilantes.

Catwoman had been playing the line between villain and vigilante for years. Just this once she should have stayed home.

"Joker dawling," purred Catwoman. "Surely you needn't bother with the little ones?"

"Well deary, look what the cat dragged in. Have you come to join in the joke? You've been quiet lately. Leave the little ones alone? You must tell me who knocked you up? Share with me sweet heart. Who's tiger daddy? Having trouble turning off the nesting instinct?" asked Joker smiling widely.

Thankfully, Catwoman was flirty with almost everyone and no one dangerous knew the baby daddy or that she was carrying twins or any of the details.

"Well, I've one tiger daddy here," Catwoman pulled on a chain and a rather large Siberian tiger padded out into the room. "Cuddles is hungry." She pet the tiger extravagantly.

The Joker giggled delighted. "I may have a little cat food available!"

Joker put Cuddles in the same cage as Batgirl. The small assassin was tightly bound in the corner.

"Shall we go to tea. Tell me how have you and Harley been doing?"

Joker went through the roof with rage when the Bat clan descended on them not fifteen minutes later. He never did figure out lock picks had been secreted in Cuddles collar but with the rage he fell into, it really didn't matter. He laughed angrily and threw down a canister of Joker Venom. "This will still be a fine joke, Bat bunch."

The Joker got away.

The tiger ended up in the Gotham Zoo. Thankfully it had been left behind in the cell and so had not been exposed to the Joker's poison.

Catwoman having inhaled far too much Joker Venom for anyone's health, despite frantic application of anti-venom, went into premature labor. Mother anonymous and Father Bruce Wayne gave birth to two 25 week micro preemies at Gotham General just as the sun was rising two days later. The doctors had done everything they could to delay the delivery.

The tiny babies were rushed into intensive care.

Selena put Bruce Wayne on the birth certificates as the children's biological father for a reason. "You have incredible resources Bruce. You're probably their best chance." She was crying miserably as she filled in the paperwork.