Gableen: The Back Row

(29)

Colleen's POV:
She left me there, alone. My heart screaming for me to run after her, my mind telling her to never come back. I knew deep down I'd just lost the girl of my dreams.

What was I suppose to do now, go back out in front of everyone, tears streaming down my face acting as if nothing had just happened, and to top of it off, Gabbie was gone. I paced up and down the backstage, my head so caught up in the loneliness I already felt with her not being around. "Woah, woah what's happened Colleen, where's Gabbie?" I hear Lilly's voice run toward me, with concern she recognised my solitary dead emotion and pulled me into a hug "Go back to the bus Colleen, I'll sort this out, we won't be long" she lead me to the door before disappearing back to the Meet and Greet.

I ran onto the bus, slammed shut my door and dived under the sheets of my bed. I screamed, yelled and sobbed into the pillow, begging for her to come back, shouting her name. It would get me no where, she was gone. As my crying became less and less audible I realised I had no tears left to fall from my face. I slowly rose up, dizzy from the emotion my face had endured, leaving watery mascara marks on my pillow. Her clothes were still here, all her belongings, maybe, just maybe she might come back.

Yet part of me wanted her gone, I still had fuming hatred left inside me, for her not opening up, for her ignoring me, for there being no trust. I dived back into my pillow. The smell of her perfume still lightly dusted the sheets, making me realise I still had a couple tears left, as they rolled down my face as her scent makes me miss her more.
Eventually I hear everyone climb into the bus. Footsteps draw nearer to my room before the door flies open, I look up and see everyone with concerned look on their face, to see me, probably looking like a huge state staring right back at them.
Everyone climbed onto the bed "What happened Colleen?" Nick said, as Lilly took hold of one of my hands "She's gone guys, Gabbie's left. She hates me-" I try carry on but my voice cracks as I begin to well up, I bury my head into Lilly's chest as she hushes me to calm.

No one asked why, or how. Yet for the remainder of the evening they all take it in turns to come sit with me, and give me company in my room. I can't thank them enough. "I told everyone Gabbie had to quickly leave" Lilly said, as she entered the room and sat beside me on my bed "Thanks Lilly, I don't know what I'd do without you" I manage a small smile. "Colleen you don't have to do the rest of this tour you know? It's going to be hard for you, and we will be here for you the whole way through if you want to stay, but if you want to leave that's ok." I did want to go home, go home to GusGus and my own bed, lock out everyone and forget about anything and everything. But that's not who I was, I'm here for my fans, some of them have done everything to come see me so I should too. "I'm staying" I smile, which makes her smile too.

. . .

The next day we continue on with the tour, I feel so drained. Waking up to no one beside me is harder than I remember, and with the scent of her floral perfume still embedded on the sheets it only made things worse. This tour was suppose to be life changing, and for the opposite reasons it was now. I dragged my groggy, messy, emotionless figure to the shower, and tried refreshing myself before the next stop. It did make me feel fresher on the outside, but I was still a mess inside.

Stepping out in front of everyone alone was by far the hardest thing yet. Gabbie was my rock, she was always there when I felt scared, she new how to protect me, how to love me like no one else. My smiles to fans now were incredibly fake, covering up the isolation I felt inside. All I wanted to do was leave this tour behind me, and with that, that evening I packed up my things and made my way to the airport in an Uber "I can't thank you guys enough for everything you've done for me, I love you all and have a great rest of the tour" I hugged them all individually, really just wanting to get away from that bus, and the memories on it which I no longer wanted to save in my mind.

The whole way home I couldn't help but worry about Gabbie, where she was, she had no money on her or new clothes and no where I could think to go. My first instinct was to text her, I however restrained, she needed to be alone for a while, and so did I. By the time I got home, I was sick of travelling. All I'd done the past couple weeks is travel around non stop. I crashed out onto my bed, and finally felt the first relief so far this trip, because I was home. Yet I this time, I really was alone.

Gabbie's POV:
Traveling by foot only took me so far, and by the time my feet felt like they were walking on needles, the night settled in. Paris during the spring is pretty cold, and to make it worse it was night. All I was wearing is a tank top and some skinny jeans, and walking into the city didn't help either. Getting cat called by drunken men in their obnoxious French accents made me realise how far away from home I was. I felt so alone, and so cold. Wrapping my arms around myself to contain the little body heat I had left I found a small coffee shop in the outskirts of the city, I had just enough money to buy one, and sat down to briefly warm myself up. Sitting down for a second made me realised how badly I'd fucked things up. I have no money now to get anywhere, no warm clothes, and even worse no Colleen. I grabbed out my phone to see I had under 10% battery left, and that no one had called. My first though was that no one cared, I began welling up as I realised I was in the middle of nowhere. I picked myself up and began walking again, sulking into my step I managed a slow paced rhythm to keep myself awake as the night grew long.
Eventually I found a quiet spot in the corner of a random neighbourhood, and sat down to try and get some rest. Sleeping on the streets of Paris wasn't something which I thought would cross my mind on this trip, but I guess there's a first for everything.

Just as I began to get comfortable on the stony hard surface of a doorway I felt the vibrations of a huge honking noise heading my way. Lights appeared from down the road as my eyes squinted to make out a vehicle approaching. I stood up and as so, I realised it was the tour bus. My eyes glistened into its lights as I frantically waved as it approached. I was greeted by the smile of Nick, as Lilly came running out. "Gabbie what the hell are you doing out here, get inside now!" She said wrapping her warm jacket around me. I felt relieved and guilty, relieved to no longer worry about being in the middle of no where alone, and guilty for doing so in the first place. Liza placed some food in front of me as I wolfed it down viciously, everyone looked so concerned about my cold, shaken up look. "How did you find me?" I nervously asked, taking a sip of water "By luck, we weren't just going to let you go wondering out here by yourself Gabs" Liza continued. I weakly smiled "Where is..." "She's gone home Gabbie, she wasn't great" I sighed and gave up eating my food "I guess that's my call to go home too, I'm no use here anyway, is it ok if you guys lend me some money?" I sweetly ask, "Of course Gabs" Lilly chuckles, handing me plenty to get home.

The next morning I leave for the airport, and with that I got home, to my house, not Colleen's of course. For all she new I was still in Europe, lost in the streets of Paris, it's not like she cares anyway.

A/N: Hello everyone, sorry for the really depressing couple of chapters. You'll have to wait and and see what happens next though! Thank you for the support it helps a lot to get more done! ❤️