Collision (Hux/OC/Kylo)

Chapter 8 - Who you really are

I closed my eyes and tried to fight back the tears that were stinging my eyes. But I couldn't. I tried picturing his face when I last saw him. Everything was falling apart. And now I was headed off to the base by myself, who was I going to see there? Was I to face Kylo Ren himself, alone? I felt confident with Hux. He could have given him at least a hint of what I could do. I doubt he'd listen to me when I got there. He wouldn't even know who I was. He'd kill me on sight for sure. As I contemplated on what my fate would be when I got to the base, I looked outside through the round window of the shuttle. I was travelling at a fair speed. I could see everything. The galaxy, the stars, even the asteroids. I didn't know it was this beautiful until now. I never really went out of the planet. I just stayed put. I wasn't a pilot. I sighed as I stared outside. I was missing out on a lot. It was so beautiful out here. If I could stay here forever I would. But I couldn't.

I sat down on the floor and hugged my knees. I've never felt so alone.

I closed my eyes. 

Here I was again. On the beach.

I sighed and looked at the horizon again. The sun was high up, and the seagulls were circling each other again. I walked. And I walked. I never wanted to go back to the real world. I wish I could just stay here. Until I died.

"Back again, sweetheart?"

I stopped my tracks as I heard that voice. That voice. It couldn't be. Yet it really sounded like it. Was it... was it him? I was afraid to turn, afraid I'd turn around and end up searching for someone I knew was dead and obviously out of my reach. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to turn back. I had to keep going. I clutched my hand and realized I was holding the lightsaber that Hux had thrust to my hands. I sighed as I looked at it. That voice was his for sure. But it was probably just a memory, though I don't recall ever hearing him say that to me when I was younger. 

Could it be

"Are you going to ignore me?"

I gripped the lightsaber tighter as I turned around.

And I saw him.

There he was. My father. Right there. In his dark green robes and black sandals. I couldn't believe it. It was like nothing had happened to him. I ran to him. I ran as close as I could get and tried to hug him, but I ran past him. I couldn't touch him. I couldn't. This took a while to register in my mind.

But he's here and he's not a memory

I started crying now. I sat on the floor and cried in front of him. He's never seen me this weak and vulnerable before. I was always his strong daughter. I was strong for him and I kept being strong for the sake of our family. But now, now he isn't with me. He was but he was a ghost. I don't how I could see him, but I was glad I could. I missed him so much.

"My child, come now, stop your crying." He said softly.

I looked up and he had crouched down in front of me. He then sat on the shore, facing me. Like this was some casual thing. I longed to touch him. To hug him. To feel him. I wanted my father back.

"Dad, I'm so sorry!" I sobbed "I'm really sorry, daddy! I failed you! I want to be with you, I miss you so much! I'm going mad."

"Sweetheart, you're not going mad. I'm right here. I'm with you." He said.

I couldn't stop crying. He was here and yet and the same time he was not. I wanted him to be here. But, I know it was too much to ask.

"Dad, I should be dead not you." I cried.

"Nonsense. I could never possess the strength you have, Paige. You are a strong girl. And as you may have discovered, you are sensitive to the Force. You feel it, as I have. Although I never showed it to you. I'm sorry I hid it, darling. I wanted you to live a normal life. Away from those Jedi schools. The last one was destroyed. I couldn't bear to see you taken away. So, I suppressed it, hoping that you would never come to manifest it. But, as I feared, it grew stronger every day."

I looked up at him, he had a worried expression on his face. He was force-sensitive too? And he never told me because he was just trying to protect me, and keep me?

"Why didn't you tell me before, dad? I could have used the force to save you!"

I could have saved him. I could have saved the both of us.

"Darling, I couldn't risk exposing you to the dark side. And you had no training because of me, you would become dangerous. A reactive compound. You could blow everything up, including yourself. All that suppressed energy was unhealthy. I thought I could control it, manage it. But, I was wrong. Now, I have left you. And the dark side have already taken you captive. I am so sorry, darling. Please, darling. Promise me. Promise me you'll stay with the light."

I stopped crying and registered his words in my brain. The dark side. The First Order. The one whose base I would be going to. Somehow I had to avoid going to the dark side and yet it was my destination as of the moment.

"Dad, they're taking me to the Starkiller Base. I'm to meet with their Supreme Leader. What do I do? They say I'm to be brought up by Kylo Ren. I know he's bad but how do I keep him out? Like you said, I don't have training."

"I am so sorry for putting you through this, Paige, my darling daughter."

His face was full of sorrow and I felt guilty to have caused him stress even after death. I had to do something.

"I promise, dad." I said, my voice dictating that my decision was final.

"I promise to stay on the light. I will never be compelled to the dark side."

He relaxed a bit and stared at me.

"You're as strong as your mother." He smiled.

"Is she with you?" I asked, a sense of hope slipping through my voice.

"She is. But she can't communicate with you, I'm afraid. She was unable to sense the force."

"I see" I said, disappointed.

"She's proud of you, Paige." He said.

Tears filled my eyes again. Despite everything, I was just a little girl wanting her parents back. My family. My home. Everything was destroyed. Because of them. What was I to do?

"I'll get out of this, dad. I promise."

A single tear fell from his eye. 

"My daughter... My beautiful, strong Paige." He reached out his hand and let it hover just beside my cheek.

"I'm so proud of you."

He was starting to disappear.

"Dad?" I cried.

"I love you, Paige." As another tear dropped from his eye, he was gone.

And I was alone in the beach again. I cried and cried. I just met my father again. My questions were answered. And I knew who I was now. I was Paige Dione, daughter of Samuel Dione and Esther Rigel. I am going to get out of this mess, and end the war once and for all.