The Wild Ones

If I could take it all back, I would

A few days at school, around sixth period, I saw Ray and he couldn't even look at me anymore. "Ray, stop it" I sat down next to him.

"Why? Are you going to go crazy and try to shoot me too?"

"No, listen. I'm sorry about the other night. I didn't mean to make you feel that way"

"Sure you didn't. You always say you don't mean things, but then you forget for some reason" he looked at me and I could feel the disappointment.

I looked back at him and paused, thinking about everything I put them through. "I quit, Ray" his face expression became less intimidating and more confused, "You quit what?"

"I quit. I'm sorry I made you do the things you did a few years ago. Same thing for the other two. I'm sorry for turning you all into monsters, I'm sorry for making you all take those people's lives, I'm sorry for acting so crazy all the time, I'm sorry for yelling at you guys a few weeks ago. I'm sorry for everything and I won't ever do it again, I swear. I want to change"

He looked at his feet, memorizing everything that happened in the past years, "Alright, but remember this. I remember everything, so you can't just up and change your mind like you always do"

"I know,  I promise I won't do that" We hugged each other, "But you know I don't want you to change completely, right? I still want our Jacob, but a little less of the psychotic Jacob"

In seventh period, I told everyone the same thing I told Ray. Christian was the only one feeling left out, "What are you talking about?" she asked, "Nothing you would truly care about" Craig answered.

"What I'm still stuck on is the fact that Jacob's the second youngest and he made you do things. I would've punched his big headed ass" Bianca joked.

"Say that and punch me with your good arm" I teased. Bianca got shot in her right arm which was her good arm. Her left arm wasn't too much help for her. It was like her handicap arm, cast or not.

"Fuck you" She pouted.

"When your arm heals"

"Deal"

Three weeks later, I went with her to get her cast taken off. "You scared, Portilla?"

"No, ugmo"

After she got her cast off, we drove to my house and sat in my room for a while. "Can I ask you a question, Puff ball?"

"Sure what is it?"

"You really scared me that other night when you said something about Satan calling on you for years. What was that about?" she said softly.

"Remember in seventh period, we said something about me making them do things?"

She gave me a worried look, "You're gay aren't you? I don't have problem with homosexuals, but if you really believe you'll burn in hell for that you're wron-"

"No, I'm not gay. When I said I made them do things, I made them murder people and I was right along with them"

"You never got caught?"

"Once, but they let us go"

"You know you can get saved, right?"

"No, we did what we did. We can't take them or the lives that we took back. We'll never be back in God's good graces and it's all my fault. I'll have to live with that for to rest of my life" I stopped and thought and then looked at Portilla, "Do you even go to church?"

She laughed, "No, I love God, but I don't like going to church. I can praise him at home, but enough  of me. I can take you all to my church and you'll have to tell the priest everything"