'We'

Chapter Eight

"What-" Erik stuttered, but Felix did not break eye contact. He started gently into the man's beautiful emerald eyes, wondering how he had held off from physical contact for so long. His hands felt warm where they touched Erik's. The blush on the black-haired man's face was intoxicating, and it made his chest flutter. "What are you doing?" Erik managed to ask. Felix smiled back at him lovingly.

"I'm holding your hand."

"Why?"

Felix was slightly taken aback by this question. It was asked without hesitancy, which was his first surprise. A wave of pride flowed through him, as he realised Erik changed when he was around him. Just as he did when he was around Erik. Something clicked in his brain, and he began to blush.

But what was more important to Felix was the actual question asked. Why? He didn't know, to be honest. He had as much control over his feelings as anyone else. He could not control who he fell in love with.

"Because I wanted to."

Now it was Erik's turn to blush.

"I don't-"

Apparently, it was not a day for finishing sentences.

"You don't like it?" Felix asked, smirking. Erik did not reply, and something inside the man felt pleased. He loved that he could do this to his companion.

A silence settled over them for a while. Felix could see that his companion was panicked, eyes darting around the room. He could guess the man was unsure of his feelings; Erik would not meet the brown-haired man's gaze. He had to fix that.

He released one of his hands from Erik's, missing the warmth immediately. Gradually it reaches towards Erik's face, resting against his chin to move his face. They made eye contact, but Erik lowered his gaze again.

"Erik."

The man refused to look up, and Felix started to grow uncomfortable. He released his contact, realising he might have stepped over a line. He dragged his hands back across the table, laying them on his leg. As he had expected, his companion looked up.

"I-"

"Sorry," Felix interrupted. "Sorry, I-"

It really wasn't a day for finishing sentences.

The men sat in silence for a while, neither brave enough to make eye contact.

"Hey should we.. order drinks."

"Does the idea of us going on a date disgust you so much?"

The repeated question seemed to strike Erik harder than intended, and he physically recoiled. Felix felt a pang of guilt, but he pushed it away. He had to know.

Felix couldn't exactly remember when these feelings had started. He had admitted that the man he served in the cafe had been attractive, but the person who sat before him now was an entirely different being. His first impression of him did nothing to convey the real man, and Felix was thankful to whatever god there may be that he had gotten the opportunity to meet him. He wasn't sure what exactly had attracted him to the man, but he knew it had happened.

Erik had not responded, and this upset Felix. Why wasn't he answering? Did he really not have a chance?

"I-" Erik finally began, and hope grew in Felix's chest. "I'm not-"

"Interested?" Felix tried to complete the sentence for him. "Gay? Under any circumstances going to ever love you?"

"I'm not sure what I feel for you yet."

That was something, at least.

"Okay," Felix said, looking down at his hands.

"But I didn't hate it."

Felix gazed up again, unsure of what to say. He had never felt this awkward, and he wasn't sure that he liked it. Erik seemed to be agitated too.

"Sorry, I upset you."

"Do you really love me?"

"I do. Yes."

Felix turned away from Erik, searching for Rosa. Some kind of distraction. He found her red hair easier and discovered without surprise that she had been watching. She nodded as they made eye contact, going to get them drinks.

"Why… me?"

It seemed Erik was still focused on that topic, and Felix turned back to him. As he met eyes with the man, his confidence grew again. He was spurred on by his companion's look of pure confusion.

"I don't know."

"But I'm... Why...?"

"Because you're handsome? We get along? I'm not sure really."

"No-ones ever…"

"Erik," Felix addressed, turning serious. "If you're not interested, just tell me. I'd rather know."

Erik did not answer. He opened his mouth, and for a while, Felix thought he would, but he soon closed it again like a goldfish. He looked down as glasses were placed on the table with a clink. Both men stared blankly at the drinks.

"Well, this is fun." Rosa's sarcastic tone cut through them like a knife. Felix gave her a glare and she chuckled. In an attempt to hide his unusual nervousness, he raised the glass to his lips. He took in as much as physically possible, cheeks reddening with the effort.

"Are you alright?" The question came from Erik, and this is what surprised Felix the most. He spluttered, choking on the alcohol. Some slipped from between his lips, and Rosa smacked him hard over the back to clear his windpipe. He sat winded for a moment, embarrassed. Erik was staring at him.

"Why are you so…" Felix could see that his friend was struggling to find the right words, but was too down to assist him. "Awkward… today?" he finally continued, not breaking eye-contact. Felix shrugged, painfully aware of Rosa's presence.

"Because I just told you I loved you, and you didn't return the sentiment."

"I didn't…  not return the sentiment, I just..."

"You don't know yet. That's almost as bad."

Rosa gave a whistle, highlighting the awkward tension in the air. Felix snapped his head around to her and she raised her hands in defence, turning to walk away. Felix closed his eyes for a moment, not wanting to turn back to Erik. Eventually, with a sharp intake of breath, he built up the courage.

"Erik. If it's alright with you, I'm going to try and convince you to fall in love me." Erik's cheeks flushed red, and something about the fact pleased Felix.

"I can't really tell you what to do..."

"Are you alright with that?" the brown-haired man repeated. He just needed this one success. His hands clenched where they still lay on his leg. Felix did not break eye-contact, and finally, Erik looked up at him again. Their eyes burned together for a moment, alight with determination.

"Okay."