'We'

Chapter Sixteen

"Who's this?" Erik asked, bending down and reaching out his hand cautiously. The creature before him slunk backwards, before advancing silently. He brushed gently against Erik's hand, and the man picked him up.

"My cat," Felix replied bluntly, staring at the interaction. Erik brushed a hand against the creature's forehead lovingly.

"What's her name?"

"His name. Citrus."

"Pretty," Erik sighed, gazing into the cat's heterochromatic irises. The creature blinked slowly but was suddenly lifted from the man's hands. Felix dropped him roughly on the couch, and he hissed with annoyance as he slunk off, approaching an open window.

"Stop staring at the cat and look at me."

"Oh," Erik exclaimed quietly, hardly able to reply to the look Felix gave him. A mixture of anger, fear and desire.

Being in Felix's house was strange. Erik wasn't entirely sure what he had expected, but this was it. Shelves lined all four walls, and every single one of them was piled with books. A desk sat at one end of the room the had entered - a room Erik assumed must be the main living room - with a chair pulled out. It had been used recently. An expensive-looking laptop sat closed on the wood.

The TV, too, was expensive. Large and flatscreen, Erik didn't think he'd ever seen something so marvellous. He scoffed at the game's systems sat underneath - Felix had never struck him as the type to sit home and play games. This room was magnificent, and so was the rest of the house.

Felix may be short in the height department, but he certainly wasn't short of money.

As they had approached Felix's house in the taxi from the Café, Erik was immediately supposed that they were approaching a house and not a set of flats. At first, he had assumed the place was rented, but now he was almost sure Felix owned this place. He had known that his lovely wasn't poor, but this was something else.

With a jolt, Erik was brought back to the present. Felix's bedroom was also nice.

***

The next morning, Erik stirred before his companion. Felix's arms were wrapped around his waist, and Erik's back was pressed against his chest. The smaller man's chin dug uncomfortably into his shoulder, but he wouldn't dare to push him away for fear of waking him.

The man closed his eyes again, breathing in the smell of Felix all around him. This was really something magical. His face flushed red as thoughts of last night crept into his memory; how could such a beautiful man love him? It wasn't as if this was their first encounter, but this time felt different. Erik sighed happily.

Felix's arms were removed from Erik, and the taller man felt the weight shift beside him. He rolled over slightly to look at his lover. Felix was laying on his back, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"Are you alright?" he questioned, smiling.

Felix did not reply.

The man had an unusual expression on his face. A million thoughts were swimming around his head, and he was having trouble keeping them in. The monsters were pulling at their chains relentlessly, and they had to break sooner or later.

"Are you alright?" Erik asked again, dropping his tone with worry. He propped himself on his elbows, getting a better look at Felix. The other man blinked slowly, as if on edge.

"I'm fine," he insisted, with a tone that clearly stated he was not fine. He would not meet Erik's gaze, and this started to distress the taller man.

"You don't sound fine," he insisted, worry sparking in his eyes.

The chains that held back the monsters finally snapped.

"I think you should leave."

The blood left Erik's skull, and he suddenly became very light-headed. Felix's tone was cold, and he did not make eye-contact. He continued staring at the wall before him.

"Wha- I…"

"Before I make it any worse."

"I don't understand what-"

"You better not make the same mistake twice," Felix stated, closing his eyes in a long blink. "That's what Callum told me." The man's voice had become distressed, angry, and it hurt Erik to listen.

"I don't understand-"

"You never do. You never fucking will. You think you can understand what goes on in my head? You can't even read properly!"

If Felix had intended to hurt Erik, he had hit the right spot. The man opened his mouth to reply, but could not think if any words. His mouth hung open as he silently started to cry.

Felix glanced across at him, and then away again quickly. His lips tightened. If he regretted his words, he did not show it. In fact, he looked angrier.

Reaching over the side of the bed, Felix grabbed a handful of Erik's clothes, hauling them at him. The belt collided with the taller man's forehead with an audible thump. His hands reached up to cover the injury and came down peppered with blood. Still, Erik said nothing, and Felix did not dare to look at him.

"Was last night-" Erik began, but Felix cut him off with the same sharp tone.

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm not that animalistic. My life doesn't revolve around sex." Felix gulped as if swallowing something unpleasant. When Erik didn't reply, he looked around. The man was already almost dressed, standing with his back towards Felix.

"I thought you were really something," Erik finally spoke quietly, his voice choked with emotion. He refused to turn to face Felix as he spoke, not wanting the other man to see him cry. He wasn't some teenage girl on school - he should be able to manage his emotions better than this. It wasn't even as if he had known Felix for that long. Erik wasn't sure who he was most angry with - Felix or himself.

The taller man took a sharp intake of breath, grounding himself. He closed his eyes, raising a hand to wipe away the tears. It came down covered in blood again, and Erik realised the cut above his eye was still open. If he was not trying to be proud, he would have asked for a bandage.

"I hope you enjoy your book," he spat silently, not turning to face the other man, "for longer than you enjoyed me." Without another word, Erik left the room. He didn't stamp, and he didn't slam the door. Instead, the last thing Felix heard of him was the quiet click of the front door. That is what hurt him most. It took Felix longer than he had expected to break out into ugly tears.

Erik stood outside the front door for a while, listening to the happy sounds around him. He closed his eyes, trying to pretend that Felix didn't exist, but the memory of the argument was as persistent as the blood oozing from his face. He bit his lip, both thankful and regretful that he himself hadn't fired any hateful words back at Felix. With shaking hands, the man reached into his coat pocket, taking out the phone that Felix had inspired him to carry around. He dialled the first number he could see, blurry as it was through the blood and the tears.

"Fuck off. I'm with friends."

"Jacob." Erik hated how upset his voice sounded through the phone. "Jacob, are you home?"

"No, I'm... Erik? Are you alright." For all the hatred Jacob harboured for his brother, the worry in his voice was painstakingly clear. That hurt Erik even more.

"Who's house are you closest to?" Erik's voice cracked, and he breathed in deeply to steady it.

"Mum's. What's wrong? Do I need to beat someone up."

"No, I… can you come and get me. Please."

"Where are you?"

"I'll walk to the town centre."

"We'll be there in five minutes," he claimed, his voice becoming distant as he took the phone away from his ear to hang up. The call remained, however.

"Jacob?" Erik called in question, unsure as to why he was hesitating.

"I love you, Erik," he insisted.

"Yeah," Erik managed to respond to the new onset of tears. "Love you too."