All These Years | Camren

First time

Halsey is legitimately the craziest person you've ever met. She's bold and daring. Most of the time, you don't know if you're intimidated or just entertained by her. 

The summer program is composed by three sections: Classical, contemporary, and choreography. There's only 30 students in the program, most of which have already shared their audition stories, some had been auditioning for 3 years straight and this year they finally got a call back.

You don't share yours.

Everyone is surprisingly    very social, the ages range from 14 to 18, but that doesn't stop anyone from befriending eachother.

Halsey is actually 16, and the only ballet dancer in this program with tattoos all over her body. She also managed to win everyone over from day one, some were just charmed by her compliment filled vocabulary, others, who rolled their eyes and scoffed when she was told to show us what she's got in contemporary, immediately fixed their posture and flaunted over her as soon as she finished a mind blowing, improvised performance. But even if she has all 28 other members begging for her to give them the time of day, she always grabs your arm at the end of class and walks with you to the next one. She waits for you in the mornings and you listen to each others daily rants about Miss Ninette's strict rules for pirouettes.

And you genuinely like her.

So you trust her, enough to do many of your first with her.

She's your first partner when you need to execute a paired classical performance. It ends up being one of the best performances out of all the groups. You know this because Halsey almost breaks you in half when she jumps on you while you're walking back to the dorm. She's all high pitched squeaks and "Oh my god!" until she finds her words and says that one of the recruiters told her they were impressed by the perfect synchronization during your performance and how natural you seemed to flow together. Your excitement shoots to the moon and you give her a big hug, she lifts you off your feet and spins you around.

It pushes you to feel something.

You smoke weed for the first time with her. It happens about 3 weeks in, you're in one of the studios practicing your grand jeté when she walks in a tosses you a hoodie, "Put this on, I found us a secret spot, you gotta see this." She already shoved all your belongings in your backpack and is holding the door open for you. You follow her and you end up in the roof of the building, with a breath taking view, as the sun begins to set. You see her lay down completely and light up a joint. You lay next to her and when she passes you the joint you take it, but not before arguing that, you're gonna cough like a loser and you dont even know how to grab it correctly. She tells you to relax and so you do, you go with your insticst, but as soon as you take a hit it's all cough and cough...and cough and cough. She tells you, that happens to everyone on the first time, and even if you protest a bit, you still want to learn how to do it correctly so you eventually take 3 more hits and by the third one you're barely coughing and your body starts feeling more relaxed.

She finishes the joint but both of you continue to just lay there. She closses her eyes and hums a random tune, then she uses her right hand to play with the fingers of your left hand.

It's different but it reminds you of trampolines and being brave.

Before the program ends, one of the girls, Cara, manages to sneak in a bottle of vodka and that night is the first time you experience what loosing control feels like. Of course you start the night with your guard up, denying all the shots they give you. But when you realize you're the only one that's completely sober it kinda pushes you to follow the crowd. Halsey pours you your first shot and celebrates with you when you chug it down like a pro. She's way more tolerant to alcohol than you so she's the one that practically carries both of you back to your dorm room.

She tucks you into bed and the alcohol has completely taken control of you so you speak some drunken words,

"I'm so glad you like me, I wish I could take you home with me and show everyone how cool and pretty my friend is."

She just laughs a bit but then she brushes some hair out of your forhead and kisses it while telling you, "You've got a golden heart babe, you just need to break that shell and I promise you people will be lining up to be friends with you." You mumble a couple of incoherence and she smiles and kisses you on the cheek , saying goodnight in the process.

That's the first time you notice a shift in your feelings for someone, because after that, Halsey stopped feeling like a friend and morphed into something more like a sister.

The day before you leave Halsey convinces you to go shopping with her. Your mom gave you a credit card so money wasn't the problem. The issue is, the fact that you're not suppose to leave the school premises unless you're accompanied by an adult or legal guardian.

Halsey just laughs as soon as those words come out of your mouth, she adds that she'll turn 18 soon so she's practically considered an adult. You're still not completely sold on the idea but then she just drags you out of your bed and says, "What are they gonna do? Expel us from the program? It's the last day! C'mon this will be fun!"

And there's not much you can do to stop her after that.

•

When you arrive to the dorm room later that night you have too many bags to count, two new piercings, manicure, pedicure, and jet black hair with lots of layers.

Halsey tells you that you have to visit her next summer and that she promises to visit you in California during Christmas break.

She also insists on going with you to the airport the next day.

So here you are, right before going through security check, saying goodbye.

"I guess this is it..." You don't really know how to do this, even though this isn't the first time you say goodbye to a friend. Back when you were nine years old, you had to say goodbye to Lucy, who until today, was your only evidence of an oficial friendship.

"What do you mean this is it?! I already told my mom I'm spending Christmas with you. Plus, I'm going to FaceTime you all the time and let you know I'm being a good girl and staying out of trouble."

She pushes a strand of hair behind your ear and then puts both her hands on each side of your face. You put your hands on top of hers and she brings her forehead to yours.

That's when you notice the tears streaming down your cheeks.

"It's going to be ok, honey." She whispers as she wipes your tears and you shake your head,

"I really don't want to go back..."

She hugs you tight and when you calm down she looks you in the eyes and says, "You're starting High School on Monday, it's going to be filled with more people than what you're used to and it might even be a bit overwhelming. But promise me you're going to be brave. Talk to people, be confident, because you're so beautiful and amazing Lo. You're strong and passionate and when you dance I swear you're unstoppable! Let your soul find it's soulmates and don't fear making friends that are different to you. I mean... look at us!"

You let out a small chuckle and she smiles.

"No more tears, unless you have a broken ankle," she says and you hug each other one last time, "Let me know when you're home. I'll see you soon."

With that you fly back to California with a space in your heart that has the name Halsey permanently written on it.

A.N
Thank you so much for giving this story a chance. I love reading your comments. Keep letting me know what you think of everything.

Mucho amor,

Nicole